A blog for Stephanie.

So I told Steph I after talking to her today that I was going to blog about her. Ha ha I have a feeling that she thought I was going to blog about how she is a crazy workaholic who needs to marry my friend Jason today, settle down and have a kid so our kids can play together and our husbands can argue over whose son throws a better curve ball. She was sooo wrong (neener neener Steph!) I decided that I would rather blog about the new the old and the odd.

Stephanie and I used to be friends. Well sorta kind of. We were those people in 8th grade who pretended to be friends because our friends were pretending to be friends. Actually it stems back to elementary school when we were on rival girl scout teams, (yeah I still remember your troops skit where you all ran around like freaks looking for your important papers that turned out to be toilet paper.) Later high school came along and Stephanie and I more then butted heads (can we say Justin Crowell). That and we were both stubborn chicks with the mind set that we were right you were wrong and everyone else was a bitch. For the most part I had sworn Stephanie off as someone I would never ever in a million years be friends with.

Enter Myspace. I ventured onto that website slowly only adding the three people I actually knew and liked. I began to notice that Steph was on EVERYONES page (you really are)!!!!! My first thought was, God how annoying go away grrrrr. I talked to another one of my friends about this and we agreed that we wouldn't be her friend.

Boing New Friend Request. Shit it was her. So I just looked at it for a while and then I looked at it some more. I walked away from my computer, came back and looked at it again. Finally I wrote her. I said that I was confused because I was pretty sure we weren't friends. She responded with something about not being in high school anymore and moving on. SHIT she was nice and adult and stuff. So again I looked at that friend request and again I walked away. Finally I sucked it up and wrote her again. This started a little trickle of passing emails between acquaintances. Finally after telling her some pretty personal stuff (because I will blab my personal stuff to most anyone) and realizing that she hadn't posted it all over Myspace the next day and realizing she wasn't secretly scamming me trying to find out info just to laugh at me later I did the unthinkable. I walked over to my computer and pushed ADD FRIEND. Whoah. Did I do that? Me? The person who doesn't make new friends especially out of people I consider enemies?

The craziest part is I feel like I might have possibly met someone who could actually become a very close friend in my life. I say met because I feel like I'm meeting her for the first time since we are both such different people now. (By different I mean grown ups who don't talk quite as much shit and don't hate each other over a guy, and who actually have real things to talk about besides how skanky __fill in the blank__ looks). The insane part is we still haven't seen each other since we started talking (the rib cookoff so doesn't count because I was scared shitless to talk to you and ran away with out saying more then uhhsmuh uh huh what who). We email every day and all day long. Seriously Wednesday I think I received 73 emails from her in the 8 hours I was at work. (That is probably less then the 4,793 she received from me). In the morning I rush out to check my email to see if she has written me yet and if not I rush to email her before she gets the chance to beat me to it. Now we are talking about finally meeting up again and I want to vomit at the thought. What if she hates me. What if I sound dorky in person or she realizes I'm to fat and unfashionable to be seen with. What if I have spinach in my teeth or I trip and fall. What if we find out that we were better friends online then we are in person. Something else that freaks me out is the what about the other friends question.

I had this other friend who was actually only my friend in when we were in college classes and her friends weren't there to see. I remember one day hanging out with her at her work and her "REAL" friends came to see her and asked what I was doing there and she was all "I SO DON'T KNOW WHY SHE IS HERE." I was devastated. That was the first time I realized there are public friends and private friends. So now I look at Stephs friend list and I realize its filled with about 200 people who hate me, 4 who like me, 10 who would tolerate me and 30 who don't know me but will hate me as soon as they do. So that is the scary part. How can we become friends when everyone in her life still has the astigmatism that I'm a mean awful man stealing bitch (yeah I was all of those things in high school and more)?

Another thing weighing on my mind is how to become friends with someone I know nothing about. Sure we have filled each other in on a lot of stuff but there are so may other things. I don't know her sisters name, I don't know her parents (not true I know her dad pretty well but only because he used to tease me daily over having sex with Kylen on the job), her family, he hopes her dreams, her past hurts and heartbreaks or her past achievements. How weird is it going to be to hang out with her and her Real, original friends and watching from the side as they laugh at inside jokes and recall things I know nothing about? See Steph doesn't really have to worry about this because I only have three, yes three people that I actually hang out with and she knows all of them. I don't always want to be the second best friend. The friend you go to when all the others are busy. This is the reason I don't make new friends its easier to stick to what I know and not embarrass myself. (Emery this is like you and the Gymboree moms)

So Steph here is my blog for you. These are the thoughts roaming my mind right now. I hope we find away to make a beautiful friendship (if we get our shit together and meet up). I also hope that you and Jason work this out and even if not I know he is the kind of guy who will still become a great friend. I hope you had a great first night at work. I hope you don't work yourself to death. And I hope you remember to make time for me between your 50 jobs. I'll probably email you like 40 times before you read this but I wanted to make sure I got the blog up so you had stuff to read at work instead of actually working.

*Side not to anyone who reads this, yes I know it sounds like a love story or a story of how I met my husband hush, I'm sorry I just have a habit of writing in a lovey dovey matter. So shhh I'm aware okay.

**Side side note to Emery. Do you remember our girl scout skit where we did the 60s or something and you were an astronaut and I was a hippy and Emily Rhyme was a news paper boy and Ginger was there too. Ha ha good times. Remember how they told us it used to be a prison camp and the ghosts where going to come get us. And do you remember how they used to call for seconds at dinner and people would go rushing up. Or how they used to have trivia during dinner. I remember, I even remember that they asked what the M&M stood for in M&Ms candy. However for the life of me I can't remember the answer. Momar do you remember, you were there?

***Side side side note to Steph, wasn't Gina Francis in your troop and maybe Molly Wilcox?

****Side side side side oh you get the point note. How many () can I actually fit in one blog (some one should count that for me!) Ha ha I crack myself up.

Whose bright idea was it to give me super glue.

A few years ago I painted this cute little ceramic floating froggy dude that you put on your sink to hold a kitchen sponge. Yesterday my husband broke it. Being the macgyver that I am I instantly rushed to my most favorite drawer in the house. THE FIX IT DRAWER. This drawer contains everything you need to fix anything: Duct tape, rubber bands, push pins, twisty ties and my personal favorite crazy glue. I grabbed out my crazy glue and squeeeeeeeeeezed it all over the ceramic thingy. Then I popped the top back on and went about my business.

About 45 minutes later I hear, "Honey, (laugh laugh) did you glue the thingy to the tile?). O shit! That sounds like something I would do. After all I'm the girl who crazy glued her stereo knob back on and was forever stuck with one volume and a stereo that wouldn't turn off. I'm the girl who put so much glue on her speaker knob it dripped down inside of the truck and glued the door to the heater vent shut making it so heat couldn't blow into my car. I am the girl who was secretly sitting on the couch trying to peal the crazy glue off my finger with out my husband seeing that so he couldn't laugh at me. I'm the girl who glued my jeans to my legs (I still don't know how in the hell I did that.)

So did I glue the thingy to the tile? Sounds about right to me. I go in and try and pull my little ceramic guy off. I get it off but now there is glue and ceramic shit stuck to my tile. I'm off to see if I own any of that nail polish remover stuff to see if that will take the crap off.

Its a little blurry but this is what my tile now looks like.

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