Taking my cousin down with me again

After my cousin read this mornings posts she reminded me of more stupid ass dumbshit things we did, such as:

  • Before we would call any guy we would write down word for word a script of how the conversation was going to go, including variations if said guy didn't respond the way we wanted. This means most old notebooks of ours that you find have at least one page in them that start out like this...
Shannon: Hi is Tom there (wait for Tom to get on phone, try and stay calm)
  • We used to create theme songs for the local pizzaria down the street from my house...then print them out, create dances and go perform them for the owner Dave (Shannon puts head in hands and shakes it in shame). One of them may or may not have been to the tune of Whoomp there it is. Ginger may or may not have been listed as our manager on one of those!
  • We took an old cheerleading song that I used to love that went our boys are F-I-N-E fine on the L-I-N-E line and changed it to Tom is F-I-N-E fine in his Hanes underwear and I L-O-V-E love him all the T-I-M-E time....sigh
  • We also used to walk down the street singing alright alright alright awesome awesome awesome (have to be a rah rah to know the tune)
  • Also we may or may not have walked down the street randomly going EEEP AAAHH to make sure our voices still worked so in case we were kidnapped we could still scream.
  • We made up the BOOK OF DARES and created different dares with different point values and tried to see who could get the most points. Some of the dares were, put night crawlers in grandmas hair brush, lock grandma out of the house, and so on.
  • When we couldn't drive we tried to scheme ways of getting to see each other, such as me dressing up as a lost baby, putting me in a box and getting mailed to her house and hitching a ride. NICE!
  • We used to make up dances and then make her brothers come out and judge us to see whose dance was better, we would lie and say she was doing mine and I was doing hers so they wouldn't be partial to whose dance they were picking.
  • We used to have coloring contests. We had one the whole flight to Louisiana one time.
  • Once in Louisiana we made a code to tell each other if we liked the other cousin we were meeting or not, It was a thumbs up or thumbs down...real incognito
  • We used to speak in a secret Kong language
  • We used to try and convince these dumbass girls in Truckee that we were twins so we made up a routine when we saw them (they were twins) we would say hi (wave) whats up (point up) then say not wearing the same thing (while wiggling finger back and forth) I (point to our eye) see (making a C with our hands) and walk off. They would stare at us amazed that we could do that.
  • Try and cook with out a recipe and then make her brothers eat our magic cookies. Mine always had about four teaspoons of salt in them.
  • The time Lisa decided to cut my hair and took about an inch round chunk of hair square on the top of my head and cut it one inch long. Then dumped a bottle of hair spray on my head, smooshed it down and tried to tell my mom it was there the whole time!
  • There was the time in Louisiana when the neighbor boys wouldn't let us swim in their pool so we caught frogs under rocks and launched em over the fence into the boys pool while they were swimming.
  • We used to dress up in adult clothes, go to department stores with clip boards and pretend like we were doing quality control.
  • We tried to pay for meals with fake play money
  • We used to go to stores, fill our baskets with school supplies then leave it all there on the floor and walk out.
  • We used to paint pictures and walk around the neighborhood and try and sell them to people. Soon we got really crafty and would find weeds with flowers on them and glue those to paper and try and sell those too!
  • We also may or may not have demolished my grandmas kitchen one time trying to make different concoctions out of every single condiment and then daring each other to eat them..I.E. ketchup covered ice cube dunked in chocolate sauce.
  • We may have had a sip of rum and coke a a party for a doctor and pretended to be totally drunk!
I am embarrassed to know myself right now!


Ginger said...

Ha, I went to Nik-N-Willies today and they took down the songs....or at least I couldn't find them! So sad, I totally remember being the 'manager' ont the Whoomp song.

Patty said...

Hystercal & very creative!

Theme song