Taking my cousin down with me

A couple more funny (to us) memories of me and my cousin.

Memory one. Uggg. So this one time we get this brilliant idea to go around to all the mail boxes in the neighborhood and steal the cards and fun looking envelopes.

SHUT UP I KNOW THATS BAD! But it gets worse. We are walking back to her house when my mom comes driving around the corner to pick me up. We see her and we freak out, drop all the cards (we had a lot) in a pile and take off running. So now, we have stolen all these cards, and then just left em so no one ever got to enjoy them. Dummies.

In relation to this story, another day while we were at my house busy playing office we decided to fill envelopes with dirt, address and stamp them and go stick them in the mail boxes around the neighborhood!

Thennnn there was the time we were playing out int he field behind her house and we ....man I'm ashamed to admit this...found this pile of school papers. We got a little closer and realized they were all a bunch of F papers and that some kid had tried to burn those and his report card up. Sooooo what do we do?

Please don't shoot me.

We take the papers back to her house, get out the phone book and call all the people with that last name asking if they had a kid named so in so. We finally found the right parent and proceeded totally tell on this kid even offering to bring the papers to the lady.

Wow...we were huge bitches.

Then this one time during our obsession with being skaters..and fucking idiots we got this brilliant idea to go taking stuff from fast food places. So. We get on her moped and drive down to what used to be called tri state and go into each fast food restaurant and we asked for, a bag, a condiment and a cup of water. For some reason we thought it was sooooo cool to have a collection of random ass shit from fast food places. Lisa kept this crap till she moved out. Anyway later that day we get hungry but we are broke. So we drive up to my grandmas house and we get into her recycling can and we "borrow" some of the money her husband had earned recycling cans (no he isn't broke hes odd okay). We go to the store and decide to buy boxed mashed potatoes, beans and something else.

This leads us to the idea that we are going to make dinner for the family. Problem was, we didn't know shit about cooking. So instead of presenting what should have been beans we presented what turned out to be bean soup! Everyone loved it and we pretended it was supposed to be that way the whole time.

What I should tell you about this day to make sure you understand our full nerdyness is what we were wearing. As I told you, we were all into being skaters so we were wearing her dads size 38ish waist jean shorts with his socks pulled up to our knees and a T-shirt. Yeah we looked hot! Oh yeah and we were riding around on her moped carrying our skate boards. Only I didn't have my own so instead we drove down the street to a kids house, I basically beat him up and stole his skateboard. (That situation turned reallllllllly bad later).

Have I mentioned yet how we used to dress up in matching outfits and choreograph dances? We also came up with names for our group. A few of our names....The awesome dudettes, the cherry bombs, the flaming fireballs (yeah we were flaming alright) and sigh, the 2 Legit to Quit girls. We then used to make signs and invitations and try and charge our family to come watch us dance.

And really to save my self some shame, I'll tell you about our suction cup boobies another time! Also for next time, that time we toilet papered that one girls house on my birthday and then pretended not to know. And also, the time we told everyone we were the presidents daughter, came from England and were very rich and famous...fuck fuck fuck we were idiots. Lisa feel free to throw in some more memories.

Like about how we used to put on fucking magic shows for your dad and brothers!


Ginger said...

Ummm, just to add to this (to top off the fact that you totally sold out some poor kid trying to hide their bad grades), I seem to remember an occasion where SOMEONE (I won't mention names here) lite her report card on fire, placed it in a coffee can and sent it floating down the stream by my house. I wonder who that was? Do you remember?

Anonymous said...

OMG! I would never think to do that with the test paper! LOL, too funny! What no MC Hammer pantsin the wardrobe for the 2 Legit 2 Quit girls? Love it!

Jeninacide said...

You were sooo mean!! But that is darn funny NOW!

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