8.24.2007

Why I blog!

Since I've been blogging I've come across the question, "Why do you blog?" I've never really known how to answer that. I blogged out of boredom, to be funny, to show off my son and so on.

Until yesterday I never had a real heart felt answer to that. When I started blogging the first people I shared it with, were the real people in my life. My moms response was to grammar check it and then tell me that I shouldn't have said the things I said about myself because it could cause me to have a bad image. She was off the list. The first time my friends read it they didn't get it and told me I was strange. They were off the list. The first time my uncle read it, he waged world war three on me because of this post. He was off the list. I had a few readers but I really wanted more. I didn't know how to get them so I just kept writing what was on my mind, and reading other blogs and commenting.

Yesterday I wrote this post. I had a dream that I put my unborn child in an oven. Rather then being any kind of logical I immediately thought I had just predicted my childs death and cremation. YES I'm all kinds of crazy I know. The first thing I did after that dream was write about it. I wrote about the dream, and also how I had been secretly fearing my child would die all along. I finally dragged myself out of the house and went to work. My mind was in a horrible place. I was ready to call my doctor and began wondering if I should be medicated to make me stop freaking out. Finally at work I broke down. I told my my and the other girl in my office. Their response was that I needed to stop stressing so I didn't hurt the baby. Then they said I couldn't think that way or the baby would think I didn't want him. Mmmhmm that is just what I wanted to hear. I turned away from them and checked my email. The first thing I found were reassuring comments from my blog friends. Then next thing I found was a comment from Patty. This woman I had never even meant before took the time to not only reply to me, not only reassure me, but to actually Google my dream and explain it to me. I was stunned. I mean yeah I had spent time Googling things for blogger friends before, but I never expected someone to say just the right thing at just the right time for me. As the day wore on I received e-mails and comments galore. What stood out to me though was that not one of them said what I was feeling was wrong or bad. In fact everyone just said, they understood, it was okay. They showed me the rational side, they made me laugh, they agreed and sympathized and so on. By the end of the day I felt like these people who had never met me had come together and picked me up in a giant hug and carried me around in their love all day.

So you ask why I blog. Here is why:
Because no matter what at any point of the day there will always be,

  • One person to comment and say what you feel is right
  • One person to say that everything is going to be fine
  • One person to show you the rational side of things
  • One person to laugh with you
  • One person to help you figure out what needs figuring out
  • One person to offer a hug
  • One person to explain things to your dumb ass
  • One person who can relate
  • One person to empathize
  • One person to sympathize
  • One person to make you laugh
  • One person who did it worse then you
  • One person who tells you no matter what you write, they still love you.
This is why I blog. You may have all of these people in your life right now but how often do you have them all there at the drop of a hat saying all those things at once and reassuring you immediately? I blog because yesterday the people who read me talked me down off a wobbly ledge and let me know, it was okay to feel this way, but also let me know, theres light at the end of the tunnel. Now rather then feeling like I need to be sedated to cope with the future loss of my son, I simply feel like, well, every little thing is gonna be alright!

I blog becuase I know that if tomorrow I want to write about a huge pimple on my ass I can and I will get the following responses:
  • 5 People with a bigger pimple on their ass then me
  • 2 people who have two pimples on their ass
  • 3 people with the perfect potion for getting pimples off your ass
  • 4 people with tips on how to squish a pimple on your ass
  • 7 people who will laugh about the pimple on my ass
  • 6 people to let me know a pimple on my ass is small considering I'm about to have a beautiful little boy
  • and 10 people who want to see a picture of the pimple on my ass.
What I won't get is a single comment telling me it's wrong to write about my ass pussiness, a single comment telling me it was gross or inappropriate and I really won't get any comment that isn't simply full of love.

So this is why I blog. I blog because now I know, that no matter what I have this whole web connection to people who are willing to pick me up and hug me at a moments notice.

So for those of you who just started out, or who have been blogging for a while and maybe you aren't getting the comment load you want, just wait, some day when you need them most, the comments will come flooding in and it will all make sense.

And also::::
NO I don't have a pimple on my ass, and no you can't see it, and you over there..yeah you, please stop dreaming about my yummy pimple covered bright white cottage cheese ass....these goodies are reserved for my husband baby!

4 comments:

Patty said...

I am so glad that you are feeling better. I'm even more glad to read that people agree with the interpretation I found. I was honestly afraid to upset you more when all I wanted to be was reassuring. It's soooo sweet of you to mention me in your post. I'm a little teary eyed now. I'm glad you found the comfort you needed.

Your blog has also given me sooo much too. I love your honesty about EVERYTHING! Since I started reading your blog I've seen changes in the way I write. I think I mentioned this before I but up my real name, put a picture of me, and wrote about somethings I had been holding back. My sister and BF have noticed the change. If you were to look back at how my blog started they were pretty silly posts! But now I get the same honesty and advice from you and all my blog friends...it is a great feeling. So THANK YOU as well.

Colleen said...

I popped over from Moms Daily Dose. I've just read a couple posts... and I'm hooked. Can't wait to check in again.

Jeninacide said...

Aww well said!!

angie said...

I'm glad you are feeling better about everything! The nice thing about the blogging world that I have found is just what you said...plus they are unbiased and therefore can point out both sides to an arguement or discussion!

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