11.14.2007

Looks like we have quite the discussion going on here

First of all, if you read my last post you will see I'm not bothered by Paula, I'm bothered that she chose to question me at all 3 days before I have a baby. To be honest, questioning someone about circumcision is the same as people questioning about C-sections. Sometimes people just make their own decisions. If Paula chose not to circumcise her kids that is totally her decision and I respect that. I am not going to visit her blog and criticize. Also, everyone keeps saying she was just opening up for dialog is exactly what I did. I posted her comment not to be mean or angry but simply to open up a discussion about it. I am always interested to hear my friends opinions on things so I posted the comment to hear what everyone else had to say on the matter. Like I said I never thought she was being mean she said it very nicely and didn't preach, however saying anything at all to a woman about to have a baby just isn't nice. If she chose to talk about this months ago fine. But I'm now 2 days away form having my son and I think I have enough on my mind then wondering if I'm now being a horrible mother. I also don't care what the rest of the world does and I don't care what God gave the baby, I only care about my child. I did research it. I did watch videos. I did talk to numerous pediatricians and I did read about it. If I thought for a minute that I was seriously harming my child I wouldn't do it. But like I said, I still allow them to do his blood work even though that hurts him. I still allow them to stick a q-tip up his nose when he is sick to test for the flu. I allowed him to receive a prick test in his back to test for peanut allergies. There are some things in life that you just do as a mom and this is one. I love my sons more then anything in the world. I am not having him circumcised just for shits and giggles. I'm not getting off on seeing him in pain. I'm just doing what my husband and I decided. If you wanted to open dialog then you should have simply responded with your side of the story, rather then sending anonymous people to my page to say hurtful things in your defense. I linked up your site so people could see the picture and read the information you gave so that we could all have an educated discussion about it. Paula I'm sorry if you felt attacked, I was simply dialogging like you requested.

Also I would never ever set my blog private. I am totally open to criticism. However, if you come here to criticize me, please be advised that usually I will post the comment which I have every right to do, and open up for discussion. I don't do this to embarrass you, I do it to open up a conversation for other people to tell me if they feel the same, feel different or don't feel anything.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

You say that you weren't willynilly about it, but you posted that uncirced penises are ugly and gross and you didn't want your son, even though that's how he is born, to have one of those.

Whether you believe in God or nature, that's how boys are made period. To call a normal part of the body gross and ugly, is immature and ignorant. How about your clitoral hood? Did you know that it's the same as the foreskin in the male? It's called a prepuce, in the female it's a clitoral hood, in the male it's a foreskin. How would you feel if people told you that your clitoral hood was ugly and weird and needed to be chopped off?

As for your pediatricians, if there are so many health benefits, why doesn't the AAP recommend it routinely for all boys? Wanna know why, it's because the health benefits are slight, at best. You're only lashing out in defensiveness and conformity. Just be honest.

Stephanie said...

Honestly, the bottom line is that Shannon has made a decision and no matter what you, Anon, have to say or anyone else for that matter won't change her decision. In fact, getting so heated over this and posting as much as you are is just a waste of your time and energy. I still can't believe that you feel as strongly as you do and yet don't have the courage to leave a name.

Susan said...

I hope you change your mind about cutting your son. Just because one of your sons is cut, does not mean both need to be cut. When you know better you do better.
There are so many valid reasons to leave your child intact. None of the reasons to cut him are valid. It is such a passionate issue for intactivists because we see it as it is. A very painful and harmful procedure. We just want to protect the innocent babies that do not have a say.
Please change your mind. Protect your baby, protect his future sexual partners. Leave him whole

Sabrina said...

Look, Shannon has already made her decision, so there's no point in spouting your opinion anyway. And "ignorance" does mean "different point of view". Just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean they're ignorant. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and belief. She's not trying to convince you to change your otherwise made-up mind. Every parent has to make choices and they shouldn't be condemned for those choices.

Stephanie said...

Due to this discussion, I brought it up around my office. I just talked to a father that has two sons. The first one was cut and the second one wasn't. The second one was supposed to but was born with a heart problem and so they couldn't worry about it at the time. The boy is now 15 and he is really struggling cause he wants it done, but his parents are saying how painful it is going to be. This needs to be taken into consideration.

The fact that there are some of you that are against it is all fine and dandy, but Shannon is for it and no matter what you say, SHE ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE HER MIND!

Patty said...

To follow Stephanie's comment...

Her sons
Her choice

RESPECT HER DECISION.

You won't change her (or my mind if I someday have a son). You have your opinions and that's fine.

Anonymous said...

It's disgusting that some people cannot stop judging and criticizing perfectly capable and loving mothers simply for making different choices.
This "intactivist" movement borders on the fanatic and cultist. They have ZERO respect for the mothers who choose circumcision.
But good for you for speaking up against such attitudes. Sadly, they don't apologize and let go that easily. They are already bitching about this (thanks to Paula, of course) on mothering.com
Check it out:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=790853

Jeninacide said...

WOW. I am just NOW catching up on all of this (I have been totally out of the loop apparently)- I have to say that I am due to have my son any day now and I am still one the fence as far as circumcision is concerned, but all this nasty talk and forcing of information upon people isn't helping me make my decision one way or the other AT ALL. It's just disturbing.

Anonymous said...

Ah, so the pro-circ hawks are watching mothering. Of course.

Anyway, it has nothing to do with disrespect for mothers who choose circumcision, and everything to do with the fact that some people believe it's UNJUST to permanently alter a child's body without his consent. We don't do it to girls, why is it okay to do to boys? What other body parts are up for modification? Can we tattoo them as infants? Brand them?

Anonymous said...

Her sons, her choice? How about HIS body, HIS choice? Do we own our children? If I want to cut off his ugly pinky toe, is that my right too? I would never allow my 15 yr old daughter to cosmetically alter herself, and I would never allow my 15 yr old son to cosmetically alter himself.

Shannon, you say you don't care what anyone else does, but you do. You are only doing this because you think everyone else does. In reality, about 50% of the the boys born in the US today are left intact. If he is taught to value his body, his foreskin, and himself, he will never wish to have it removed. 80% of the world is perfectly happy with theirs. We aren't out to make you feel bad or think you are a bad mom, we are trying to protect little boys that don't have a voice. No pictures, this may be helpful http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.html

Sara said...

I could really just copy my previous comment over here.

Shannon's Baby. Shannon's Choice.

Stop judging.

Stephanie said...

How is it disgusting that we have our own opinions just because they are against what yours are??

The fact that Shannon and other mothers decide to go the circ route is pure their decision. She isn't going to other people's page and preaching so why do you feel you need to do it to her?

Shonahsmom said...

Why? Because this is the internet. People need to realize if they are going to put their peronal lives and thoughts on display to the general public, there will be reactions. You are willingly (and perhaps wantingly) setting yourself up for public comments when you have a public blog. I don't understand why people are in such disbelief about that.

The face that she came to mothering to defend her choice leads me to believe that she is perhaps not truly at peace with the decision. The decision is not final. It isn't final until the baby is cut.

Stephanie said...

Well, he'll be getting cut. You won't change her mind.

Anonymous said...

Dear misguided mommy and crew,

All this talk of "cutting" on a perfectly healthy newborn is really making me ill....please consider your son's right to a whole body.


My son is intact. Over 90% of the world's men are intact as the creator made them. The foreskin is not gross, it's merely standard equipment for the male gender. The circ rate is dropping like a stone for the United States as more parents educate themselves to the true harm being done by routine male infant circumcision. This terrible procedure also harms the sex life of the American woman....
http://mensightmagazine.com/Articles/Northrup/lovecirc.htm

Your poor little boys... why do they deserve to be treated this way?

angie said...

Just because I love that Shannon can get so many people riled up I must join in...down the page the anon person talking about how it is the BOYS choice because we dont' own our children then contradicts herself in the same statement...but I would NEVER allow my child to cosmetically alter themselves...hmm their choice huh...sounds like she's still the one making the choice...just like Shannon is making her decision to take care of Codi!! Shannon you are by far the best blogger ever!

Anonymous said...

I said I would not allow a CHILD to alter themselves. Once they turn 18, it is completely up to them. He can cut the entire thing off if he wants. I'm not making a choice that can't be undone. How is it that you don't understand that?

Anonymous said...

What a great blog!! You rock. Congratulations on your little boy.

And yes, we pro-circs hawks are watching mothering. We need a good laugh once in a while.

Rad Ponytail said...

being moms and all, you would think that the nutjobs over at mothering.com had better things to do than leave nasty comments on your blogs. apparently, parenting is less important than pushing thier views on others.

Anonymous said...

i just find it funny how people cant talk about something and there is always ONE person who has to start something because another person sed one word. abortion, God, circumcision. everyone has their own opinion and is going to make their own decisions. im pretty sure shannon did research it and whether or not shes cutting her son for medical reasons or cosmetic, it's her and her husbands choice. i'm cut. my brothers cut. my father is not. i don't think im traumatized by this. i don't feel anger towards my father for having me circumcized. now that i think about it, im actually happy that i am cut and in my opinion, it looks better then not being cut. find something better to debate about, like how the hell is jordans ex wife gonna get $168 million in a divorce!!

Swistle said...

The issue here is not whether circumcision is right or wrong, or whether a parent has the right to make decision for that parent's child.

The issue is whether it's any of anyone else's business, or whether it's okay to assume that if someone disagrees with you it means they MUST not have looked into it.

Another issue is whether people can really believe that there is only ONE way to see things, and attack people who disagree. I think that's the highest expression of ignorance. Being anonymous makes you not only ignorant but also a coward.

Swistle said...

Er, I don't mean to say that anyone who ever comments anonymously is a coward. I mean that if you attack another person viciously, and you do it anonymously, THEN you are a coward. And I DO mean that.

Anonymous said...

Swistle,

That it's not true. EVERYONE here is pretty much posting anonymously. So because a person signs "swistle" that gives them more of a ID than "anonymous"? I still don't know who you are, you're as anonymous to most people here as I am. Simply because I choose not to use my name that doesn't make me any more or less cowardly than anyone else.
So if the person signs her name she's suddenly brave for attacking others? It's just as cowardly to do it openly than doing it anonymously ,especially on the Internet.
Truly brave people actually don't go attacking others.

Swistle said...

I see your point, Anonymous, but I think it's generally recognized on the Internet that being "Anonymous" is different than being your Internet personality. People constantly complain about "anonymous commenters," and what they mean are the people who call themselves "Anonymous" and don't link up with the identifying information they would usually use when commenting. And that is what I mean, too, in this situation. I've noticed that people calling themselves "Anonymous" feel overly free to say things they would never, never say if they could be tracked back to their own blog and email address.

My main points, in any case, are the ones about it being no one's business, and about it being lame to assume that someone who disagrees with you is stupid, and about it being ignorant to assume that there is only one right way to do things.

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