11.13.2007

What on earth would posess someone to say this to a new mom?

I just received this comment from Paula (click her name to see the awful site). This comment was left on this blog. I believe in response to me discussing the changing table being ready for circumcision and cord care.

Love your blog. And yes the rooms look great!

Im sad to hear you are going to circumcise. Have you looked into it?


Good luck with labor! Very exciting! Congrats mama

I'm sorry Paula but I'm pretty upset with your comment for a few reasons. One of the reasons is that I already have a son so clearly I have looked into it. Second, no matter what the choice is mine so why on earth would you question me? It is clear you haven't read my blog and only stopped by because of the circumcision comment or you would know that I also won't be going into labor I will be delivering via scheduled C-section. Now I wonder if you have something to say about that too. Then I click on your link (I have linked her so you can all see what I was horrifically greeted with when I visited her page) to see that image. First of all, all of the pediatricians I visited along with the video I watched assured me that the baby is totally numb and actually feels nothing when being circumcised. In fact, my son didn't even cry during his and he passed out immediately after. However, no matter what the facts are, following the link to your blog and seeing that was very traumatic and mean and I can't at all understand why you would say something like that to a hormonal new mom? I am so deeply disturbed that the only comment you have ever chosen to leave on my blog was simply to criticize my choice as a parent. Everyone has the right to make their own choices and to be confronted with an image like that just days before I am going to have my son was terrible and mean. And while I will still absolutely circumcise my son all that I will see while it happens is your awful graphic and I don't think I deserved that.

26 comments:

Swistle said...

Ha ha! I saw that comment and wanted to reply to it, but couldn't think of a way to explain to someone who would say such a thing what was wrong with it. Anyone who would understand the explanation would also know not to say such a thing.

My least-favorite part was the word "sad." No, my least-favorite part was the assumption that if you were doing it, you hadn't looked into it. No, it was the word sad. No....well, it's hard to decide, since the whole thing was so bad, and now you report that it also linked to a revolting scare-site. NICE.

Valley Girl said...

OMG OMG OMG OMG....

*climbing into fetal position*

I'm traumatized!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to go home after work to cuddle with my dogs. I feel sad.

Emery Jo said...

Yep. That's JACKED.

Coffee Slut said...

That is just wrong ...

J. said...

Gotta love how some people just feel the need to always judge other people's decisions...

MrsGrumpy said...

When did it become okay for other people to judge the decisions of others? I'm so sorry MM, that you had to read that. Your decisions are your decisions...and you didn't invite debate about it. Being one who has forgotten how to censor herself over the last few months...I seriously want to mess up her comment section with a comment or two. And I absolutely abhor scare tactics (i.e. that picture) in order to attempt to change a mind. Whether one agrees with it or not, one can keep that to oneself and not post links to posts that one has just posted so that all will see it. I hope you're feeling better.

Christy said...

It doesn't sound like she was judging you or being mean. Regardless of her site, at least she was polite in her comment.

Jana said...

OMG!!! I just found you through Swistle's comments section and I cannot believe the picture on that woman's blog. And the NERVE to leave such a comment on your blog. For what it's worth, my son didn't cry at all during his circ, either, and if baby #3 (due in May) is a boy, we're having him circumcised, too.

uumomma said...

people suk so much
i am sorry you feel bad about this
you are a good good mommy!

angie said...

Ok totally random but I don't know if you watch Desperate Housewives but this is totally what the show was about this week...parents disagreeing about circumsizing...I didn't realize this was such a controversial issue! I think it comes down to a cleanliness thing and I am all for the little snip back...you are a good mom shannon you shouldn't let her comment bother you...you do a great job of being a mom and clearly you look into everything before you give anything to your child!

Scott and Lorie said...

k just left a silly comment but blogger dumped it.

blame it on the breast feeding brain, but I don't remember all that I had written, other then to say, that I'm with you 100%.

People should be slow to judge amen?

Or else I could just judge her for breast feeding her 15 month old, and co-sleeping. I don't believe in any of that. But you don't see me leaving judgmental comments on her blog...wait....I might just do that...

Cristina Mathers said...

wow! that was totally not anyones biz but yours. shame on her for commenting like that. esp when you don't know her.

Kat said...

How freakin' rude was that? Some people got the nerve to...ah its just plain stupid and upsetting

Cristina Mathers said...

the other thing i would like to say is that you must have been really hurt by this because there is no swearing in this post! does that mean that you are beyond mad?

Not So Perfect said...

Oh Shannon I am sorry. The visual was very disturbing, I don't know a mom in the world that would not be upset by that picture. I agree with you 100% that was just cruel to say to a new and expectant mom and even worse to link that picture to her blog spot, knowing you would probably check her out after the comment was left.

Stay positive I wish there was a way to wash your brain after seeing something like that.

Not So Perfect said...

I just got your comment I would love to come over to Reno and meet you and your babies. Oh yea and see Rob again too. :-)

Rachel said...

Now this woman is sad-not because she has an opinion but because she feels the need to post a horrible picture. It reminds me of the anti abortion trucks that show pictures of unborn fetus stuff. YUK!

I am Jewish and we do it 8 days after the birth and so I was there with Max when he had it done. It was not nice but it wwas not horrible either. I told Max that he would be ok and kissed him and Scott held his hand. I also went and had an energy worker clear any trauma etc. But I think that it is part of being a boy.

I agree with Christy-I don't think she was being mean but I think it is not something you show a woman who is abot to give birth in a few days. No mommy to be needs that right before she is due. Hugs

Patty said...

This is my second attempt to leave a comment I was so upset I lost the first comment I wrote.

I'm most disturbed at the fact that she left the comment and then put up that horrible picture on her blog. Granted she has every right to free speech but she should use common sense and spare expecting mother's her "save the world crusade against circumcision."

OBVIOUSLY you are familiar with what happens, Codi is your second son. I wonder if she even knows that the Jewish faith celebrates the bris 8 days after a baby boy is born in a synangouge (not a hospital) and baby boys are just fine. My cousin's wife is Jewish and their son has a bris, the baby didn't even cry! Obviously they take precaustions to numb the area. I can only believe that a hospital and doctors take added precautions and are in an even more santiary environment.

Try to erase that horrible image from your mind. Codi will be a 100%fine, perfect, healthy baby.

xoxo

Stephanie said...

Wow. What a horrible person she is for leaving the comment and then posting what she did on her blog. I am so sorry. I am so upset, I really don't know what more to say.

Someone Being Me said...

She hid the graphic before I clicked on the blog and from the comments I have no interest in seeing it. My sister also gave me that same speech when I chose to have my son circumcised. She has 2 sons who are not. My husband was horrified that my sister did not circumcise her sons. He was adamant that we would with ours. My husband's father had it done when he was in his 20's and it was much more traumatic then. My husband was in the room with my son and the baby was numbed and he was perfectly fine and went to sleep immediately after. I believe in it for many reasons including religious and hygiene.

Anonymous said...

If it's so traumatic to view the picture, how come you're more than willing to subject your son to it? I think your reaction was immature and defensive. She invited you to dialogue.

Misguided Mommy said...

yes i realize she was opening up for dialoge. which is just what i did. i posted her comment on my blog to spark discussion. like i said, i'm strong enough to not be affected by her comment. the picture is disturbing because it is of a baby crying. any image of a baby crying makes me sad. i was overwhelmed with sadness when they drew my sons blood because they pricked him with a needle but that doesnt mean i wont have them check his blood when he is born. it was simply a sad picture.

Anonymous said...

So, none of you would have any problem circumsizing your daughters then? Why is it any different if it's a boy? Maybe instead of investing a bunch of energy hating on someone's opinion you should use that energy instead to actually research the issue. The effects of circumcision are not limited to the actual procedure. They are life long for both men and their partners.

I find it hilarious that you are all so disgusted by the picture but somehow not by the procedure itself.

Also, the circumcision rate as of 2004 in the U.S. is 57% so it's really ridiculous to think that uncircumsized boys are some kind of freaks that will be ostracized by all.

And if you don't like people coming to your blog and *gasp* disagreeing with you, make your blog private.

Paula said...

I think we all love our children and do our best to make sound decisions affecting their lives. However, it can be overwhelming to research every choice we make and sometimes that alone makes us bury our heads (I am guilty).

Circumcision is one of those things that most do out of ritual...without wondering why. So that is the root of my simple question..."have you looked into it?". I for one was truly suprised that it was medically unecessary.

Do you guys respect Dr Sears? There is a great article at
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp about deciding whether or not to circ (no pics). Ive never been with an uncircumcised man (unfortunately) so the idea that a foreskin has a purpose was foreign to me! Now (obviously) I am a foreskin advocate hehe.

Dear mamas...let us all come together in love to have a healthy debate on a topic that affects all of us!

Anonymous said...

Good for you for not letting yourself be bullied by these anti-circ freaks!!!

silverspook said...

(The picture was removed before I came across your diary, but I'm assuming that it was a picture from a routine circ)

I just can't imagine, if that picture was so 'horrific' and 'disturbing', how you could PAY someone do the very same thing that was pictured to your son! That's like saying the picture of someone else's car wreck was awful! But my son's car wreck wasn't so bad. He even went right to sleep afterwards! (It's a trauma-induced "sleep", by the way) And don't you think your son might want a say in having part of his body permanently removed?

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