12.11.2007

No regrets

You know I have to say I'm shocked at all of you. I really expected at least one person to question me having my tubes tied. I was totally stunned when no one tried to question me. Whoah. Anyway this time I know that I did the right thing. You know, when I had Brandon I would always walk around saying, "with our next kid..." or "next time", or "if we have a girl." This time however there is no next time. Not because I can't, but because I just know I'm done. You see as many times as I sat there saying I WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER CHILD, after Brandon, a part of me always knew I was lying. I saved all his clothes, I saved all his gear, because deep down inside I knew I was the biggest liar ever on this earth and my pants were so far on fire they might as well have just turned to ash. I knew I wanted just one more. I knew I really wanted that one more to be a boy. While I joked about pink and pony tails and dolls and frills, deep down inside I somehow knew I was going to have two little boys and be done. So I had my tubes tied and I'm happy. While I know I'll never sit there saying, wow I wish I had another, I know there are other things that will seem weird. I know it will be totally weird never thinking, OMG am I pregnant every time I throw up or have a weird symptom. It will be weird knowing Rob and I can free willy it all we want and nothing can ever happen. I honestly think that part of it will be a huge adjustment. Sort of like this last pregnancy was an adjustment. I was so prepared for an uphill battle that when I got pregnant like over night I didn't know what to do with myself. Thats how I think this will feel. I don't know what I will do with out having to think about condoms first, or birth control or the oops he was too drunk to pull out. I mean, really do you know how strange it will be to have no responsibility? Shit, this is going to be like high school all over again!

11 comments:

Cheatwoods said...

I have seriously considerd it myself, altho I am now like u were w/ Brandon. 2 boys i a great number I think!

Bec & Tim said...

I'm glad you didn't regret it! We know when we're done. Take it from someone who did regret her tubal. It was NOT fun. Ironically, it wasn't the fact that I could no longer have children that bothered me. It was all of the symptoms that came along with my tubal. I was glad to find out it wasn't just me that was dealing with them either. There were thousands of women who were. PTLS is very real and I hope and pray you steer clear of it forever! Information on PTLS if interested: http://tubal.org/symptoms_of_pts.htm

Ginger said...

You know I totally forgot about it...until the other day when I was out of town I randomly thought about it and was going to ask you when I got home...and then obviously forgot.

Valley Girl said...

More power to you, hun. It was a fabulous decision. Now, you can just enjoy yourself.

Patty said...

This is such a personal matter between you and your husband that I just respected your decision. Two just seems like an ideal # of kids to have. My mom did the same thing after she had my sister.

I wasn't really shocked about your decision it seemed like you were totally comfortable with it so that's all that really matters.

Christy said...

I always said I wanted 4 kids, but I am starting to reconsider this idea. Babies and birth control are hard work. I envy you.

Lainey-Paney said...

well...getting your tubes tied is a very personal decision.

besides---I've been out of town. I'm off the hook for not commenting on your girly parts!

Rachel said...

I am glad you did what was right for your family.

Alice said...

hmm... i haven't had ANY kids, so perhaps it's a bit hasty, but i like the sound of this free willy business ;-)

Heather said...

Ya know, I used to want 6 (call me crazy) kids. Then I had one..then numbers dropped to 4..then i had 2..now im stuck on 3!! So I know for sure...as long as hubby is on board..I want 3.
Like someone else said..WE know when we're done and its really nobody else's business!

Heidi said...

Like high school . . . only you don't have the possiblity of waking up to an ugly - who the hell are you - guy. Being married is such a good thing.

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