I'm slowly remembering things from my previous pregnancy....
Like my uncontrollable drooling while I'm sleeping. So bad that I have to put a few tissues or a towel on my pillow to avoid waking up from the wet spot on my bed.
My butt head cousin seems to think that I should make some sort of Pregnancy addendum post on here letting you know that my previous post wishing death to all those who asked me to go get ice cream and candy is now Null and Void.
Exceptions: I will still only eat frozen yogurt or low calorie ice cream.
Fine print: I don't actually want chocolate every day, and now that I am pregnant this means that if you bring chocolate you will be responsible for helping me exercise it off in some way, immediately there after.
Rewards: You get no rewards besides the privilege of hanging out with me and my incredible moody pregnant ass.
Cancellation: Failure to provide adequate exercise will cause all niceness benefits to cease immediately and I will go "Pregnant Road Rage Shannon" On your ass.
Exclusions: I am also being money greedy which there for means said ice cream dates can not cost more then 3.00 per trip not more then once a week.
Finance charges: Friends who do show up with out chocolate will be charged a finance charge of one and a half chocolate bars or a home made chocolate treat, which ever value is greater!
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 5:07 PM
WHY IN THE FUCK DO I NOT OWN A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN? WITH CHOCOLATE IN IT? FLOWING RIGHT INTO MY MOUTH? HUH? WHY HAS NO ONE GOTTEN ME ONE OF THESE YET, YOU BIG BUNCH OF WHORES? AND WHY O WHY HAS NO ONE BROUGHT ME CHOCOLATE SINCE FINDING OUT I WAS PREGNANT? DO MY FRIENDS HATE ME?
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 3:35 PM
I mentioned briefly on here that I am pregnant. This means another baby. What I didn't mention is that I'm secretly freaking out because my first baby is, well, STILL A BABY. He still has these skinny legs and knobby knees and tiny arms. I am finding it so hard to understand that soon he won't be the baby anymore, instead he will be moved up to big brother. At least he will hold the title of first born.
I am so shocked to even be pregnant. I think I am so shocked I haven't really accepted it all yet and had a chance to get fully excited about it. Rob and I were trying, this was something we wanted, I guess I just never expected my body to make it happen after only two months. I think I was more prepared for for another long drawn out "trying" phase. I guess I expected a bunch more trips to the fertility doctor, and watching everyone else around me get pregnant. I also thought since i had so much time I didn't even need to address the fact that my little boy is still a teeny baby himself.
There are other things on my mind.
Like how am I seriously supposed to get my son out of my bed in time for the new baby? He has a bed, and when he isn't sick (which is every day) he sleeps in there for a few hours.
Also, will one crying baby wake up a sleeping baby?
Will Brandon really beat on his new sibling?
How do I make it a girl?
Will my boobs get big again? They are now little tiny pancakes. More like deflated balloons that are squishy like they are full of pudding and a mixture of cottage cheese and stretch marks.
Is it possible to maintain a healthy lifestyle? I've only known I was pregnant for 4 days and I'm already sad I left the highly processed bright yellow spicy cheese dip at home. Instead opting for the healthy hummus and celery.
How long will I be able to balance on my bicycle?
If pregnancy gives you baby brains and parenting gives you mommy brains then what the fuck is going to be left of my brains?
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 5:34 AM