it must be Gods food

After my lovely little bank fuck up, I was driving around thinking about how much I wanted a yummy chocolate banana milk shake. I realized I was close to the mall and I could just run into the food court and grab on from Diary Queen. As I walked in I smelled the enticing aroma of Sabbaro greasy mall pizza. Suddenly I found myself in line ordering a slice. Then I wandered over to Dairy Queen and ordered my chocolate banana milkshake. The lady looked at me like I was a retard. She brought it, and before she had even processed my credit card I had jammed a straw in and took a big long slurp! EWWW Yuck, wait, excuse me miss, there is no banana in this. Ooooooo you said banana, I thought you asked for a chocolate vanilla milkshake. Uggggg, yeah whatever retard lady just fix my shit so I can drink it all before I get to my car. Finally she fixed it and I swear I had a TFO (Tiny food orgasm). I came to work and enjoyed my milkshake and pizza. Now, I'm so full it hurts to be alive. I don't know what I've done to myself but I can't move. My gosh I ate wayyyyy to much, and for the life of me I can't stop myself from slurping up the last few drops of milkshake, and sniffing the chocolaty banana fumes!

Turns out, I really could be more of a dumb ass

Rob and I own two homes (toot toot yeah yeah). We rent one of them out. Being the smart financially savvy person I am, I opened a fancy little rental account so that when my very reliable (add a shit load of sarcasm to that word) renters bring their check sometime between the 1st and the 15th I can put it in the rental account so as not to commingle money. Then I go on my fancy little bill pay service, check off the payment and I'm done. Right?

Ha! Not in my world. First, I would have to remember to take the fucking check to the bank. Then I would need to remember when I'm on my fancy bill pay website to check off the little button telling it to come from my rental account and not my personal account. Now, had I done these things, the rent payment wouldn't have come out of my checking account, causing my husbands car payment to bounce. Fuck me!

How is it, I get pregnant and suddenly I can't handle simple tasks like point and click?

I really am that dumb!!! REALLY!

Yesterday I posted my baby picture and the post relating to my first doctors appointment. Here are two of the comments I received:
~~JarretNJulia~~ said...
What a great ultrasound picture. I am glad that everything is looking so great!!!
And it's so cool cause I have my next ultrasound at 8+3 too so I know now what to look forward to :)

Congrats on the Turkey baby ;)

angie said...
Yay for the turkey baby! And I love baby Lou! Too cute! Ultrasounds make no sense to me either but it looks like it's a cute little growing baby.
Ooh and if you are craving chocolate remember what the Dr. said...Eat A LOT!!!!

I read these and I am baffled. I couldn't figure out why everyone was calling my baby a turkey. So I pulled up the photo and I was like well, I guess it kind of looks like a turkey, but what a random thing to notice. And, since I'm hormonal I got all sad that you guys thought my baby looked like a turkey. Then I stopped being stupid and I realized DUH SHANNON!!!!!! Duh you idiot your due on Thanksgiving hence the turkey baby comment. Wow, can I be anymore oblivious and dumb? I'm just glad I didn't share that with my husband and friend who was over, because they would have instantly looked at me and said ARE YOU STUPID, DUH AND DUMB ASS!!!!!!!!

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