My brain is dripping

No, really. I've been sick for ever now. My brain is dripping out my nose, I'm coughing up my lungs, puking out my guts...and plenty more I'll be nice and not share with you (ooo shocking I'm going to keep my mouth shut). Any way, when your brain is leaking you do whatever you can to keep the last of it inside of your head. So I do this at work today and one of the girls in my office says "YOU ARE GROSS I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE DOING THAT!" I felt all bad and stopped and I was like gee, that was rude. Rob doesn't seem to mind when I do it, neither does Brandon or my mom. So, I'm going to show ya'll a picture and you can tell me....

So can't believe I'm showing you this picture....

OMG no shit talking.....

NO laughing.....

Okay, be honest, am I weird or what?

I think I might actually embarrass myself here, and I don't get embarrassed often.

To be normal?

Have you ever sat at home thinking to yourself, "gee I wish I could be normal?" I don't usually. However, Monday night I found myself in bed actually crying and wishing I could be normal. There are so many things about me that drive me nuts. Things that I imagine make me hard to live with. Things that make me realize my husband is more then a saint for tolerating my sorry ass. Here are a few of them.

  • I am afraid of the dark. This seems normal enough right? Wrong. Because of this, I can not sleep now unless my husband is in bed with me. Reason one, someone could kill me and my son (who sleeps in my bed). Reason two, unless I face Brandon there is a chance he could roll of the bed or he could be kidnapped while my back was turned, because really you never know who is hiding in the closet. Because I'm pregnant it hurts to sleep facing Brandon so instead I lay awake until Rob comes to bed. This means, if he doesn't come into bed when I'm tired I become so cranky I start yelling at him or pick a huge fight. It drives him nuts because he likes to stay up after his soft ball games or go out on weekends. When he goes out, I lay in bed cranky till he comes home. Once it gets close to two he starts getting awful text messages. Imagine how tired I am when he goes over night to Atwater.
  • I have a little crazy in me. This means I can get mad at the drop of a hat. It also means that some times I find parenting to be impossible and I take it out on Rob for not helping enough. Then when he tries to help I scream at him taht he isn't doing it my way!
  • For some reason since having a kid, I feel like I do nothing. I don't have any energy. I don't care about cleaning or doing chores. I huff and puff when I do them. This sucks because I know I should want to be that good wife who gets off on dusting and traipsing around to clean.
  • Again with the crazy. I get so angry I sometimes don't know why I'm mad, then I cry, then I laugh, then I get all lovey dovey. I often change moods within a matter of seconds. In the morning you never know which Shannon you are waking up to. I know I probably should take medicine but I refuse.
  • I know I could get some sort of help for my fear of dark and being killed and what not. However I'm more afraid that if I get help then something will happen. If I finally let my guard down, that is the moment someone will get me. If I finally let my son sleep in his room that is the second someone will decide to break in and kill him or steal him. If I actually go to sleep while he is sleeping without Rob, he will roll of and break his neck or he will choke or stop breathing.
These are just a few of my crazys, there are so many more but these are the ones that jump out at me. Basically I am starting to get on my own nerves because I realize how hard I must be to live with. I just don't know what to do....Sigh.

In which I get dumber and dumber and dumber (because dumber is a word right?)

I'm sitting here reading Gingers blog, and Stephs blog and everyones blog and the noticable theme is wine. So I think to myself, why not grab a lovely glass of wine. Oh no you have some amaretto. Oh wait you don't drink. Well, maybe since you haven't drank in almost a year it would be okay if you just drank a little. OH WAIT DUMBASS YOUR PREGNANT....Wow seriously I really honestly forgot I was pregnant and was about to have some wine. I'm so smart!

Me Vs. Ginger

Recently Ginger and I seem to be having a little competition to see who can cut their hands up worse doing stupid ass things. First, I cut my hand trying to pry a piece of my vacuum together with a screwdriver...flathead, slips gouges other hand, peels off a few layers of skin. This was followed by Ginger slicing herself trying to get something out of a pan, I think rice crispy treats or brownies, or basically some sort of desert. Then I was just being stupid with my knife and I sliced my thumb. It was a very small slice, so small in fact that it was annoying like a paper cut. Ginger then cut herself I can't remember how. Then I scraped the front of my finger. A few days ago Ginger just plain tried to slice her hand off to the point where she was afraid to look down but somehow only managed to barely peel the first layer of skin off. I've got her beat tonight. I was cutting an avocado in half with a steak knife, no problem there. It was when I tried to whack the steak knife into the avocado to get the pit out that I had an issue. The knife went right passed the pit, through the avocado and through my hand, right where I had just cut it with the screw driver. Okay Ging, your turn.

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