How about a close up..
Notice all of my missing sprayers....ya apparently my son is real offended by perfume bottles that actually spray perfume
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 2:20 PM
Well since none of you shit heads submitted anything for the giggle awards, I took it upon myself to find stuff that made me laugh. At first, I read this, and I thought it might win.
I read this. And I'm still laughing. This shit cracks me up! Go Jen. You totally made my day. It is so wonderful to have people admit that shit isn't always wine and roses. THANK YOU JEN I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING IT SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 11:38 AM
Wednesday I had to stop at the store and pick up every thing for my BBQ this weekend. Now, I may only be about 14 weeks pregnant, but sometimes I feel like I'm about 7 or 8 months. Mainly it is when I have stand up from sitting on the floor or lift heavy things. Two of the things on my list were watermelon and bottle water. The sale that week was for the pack of 35 bottles of water. That alone was ultra heavy and on the bottom shelf of course. Being lazy I stuck it on the bottom of the cart so I don't have to lift it far, because even that amount of lifting felt a little straining. My watermelon was a big ole fatty. I get to the check out and leave the water at the bottom of the cart and the lady so graciously scans it for me there. Finally I'm all done and I'm walking at turtle speed and my body hurts and the cart is so heavy and I'm even asking myself if I can be any more whiny and pouty if I tried. I'm walking out the store, across the little spot you drive toward the parking lot. I'm trying to hurry because this very important guy in his extra important SUV is sighing at me and giving me dirty looks telling me to waddle my ass a little fatter so he can continue rushing off to his very important places. Look at me, I'm so frazzled by this I just wrote the king of all run on sentences.
ANNNNNNNYWAY As I'm waddle/rushing in front of this guy, my water comes crashing off my cart upside down on to the pavement. In this second I stop and I swear by looking at me you can tell I want to cry. I'm visibaly flustered and I just look at the guy pitifully. HE LOOKS THE OTHER WAY AND SIGHS LIKE WILL THIS GIRL HURRY UP. Then I finally try and bend down to pick up the water, and now would be a good time to tell you, this was the same day I wrote the post about my pants sliding off my ass because they were too big and missing the drawstring. So now here I am trying to pull my pants up with one hand, drag the water towards the cart with the other, finally giving in and letting my pants slide down to show my fabulous flower undies, I heft up the water with all the grace of a 2 year old and shove it on the top corner of my cart balancing it there with one hand and pulling my pants with the other. I ever so slowly start to move again and this guy is still getting frustrated and all twitchy looking. Finally I move out of his way and he zooms off so quick my water almost falls of again.
SO! The actual point here. Was it rude of him to just sit there watching me and sigh like a dick wad, or should he have gotten out to help an obviously frustrated girl in need? Oooor is it my fault for not puffing my belly out a little farther making it obvious I'm pregnant? Or is it option three that chivalry has been dead for a long time and I'm a stupid little girl for thinking he would help?
You know my husband always stops and helps people push their cars out of the road when they are broken down, why couldn't this guy help me with me 40 pound water?
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 6:25 AM