Sorry but I got a craving for a burrito






ITS A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had his junk hanging out all over the place. We saw it twice. No way around it. Its a boy. I am off bed rest, however I still can't lift anything and I still need to closely monitor the color of the blood coming out of me. I go back in 6 weeks to make sure it all still looks good!

Oh shit

Let me just say some of you are doing an excellent job of keeping me amused. This is the latest post by Weekday Wisdom that had me laughing my ass off. I encourage you all to visit her site.

Maury's job isn't on the line... at all!

I think about the numerics of my family a lot, like how many brothers-in-law I have named 'Kyle' (2) and how many sisters-in-law named 'Chelsea' (2). Last week I tried to figure out how many nieces and nephews I have. A year ago I had 24. I think I have 29-ish now. It's hard to keep track of all of those Kaedyns, Kadens, Cades, Aidens and Calebs, and when some family members breed like hamsters, I can't sort them all out in my mind.

About two years ago, my sister in California, Lilly, had her first baby. When she came in to town with Jacob, my step-mom insisted on getting all of the grand babies together for a picture. When I saw the picture, there was a strange chubby baby in it that I'd never seen before. I figured someone was probably babysitting another child, and they'd thrown him in the picture so he wouldn't feel left out. A few days later, I went to see my step-mom for Mothers Day. As I was sitting in the living room chatting with my family, my brother walked in with a girl I went to high school with. In her arms was the chubby baby from the picture. It all made sense. Jim was dating a girl with a baby. That is, until Anna explained to me that the baby was Cade, Jim's son.


Yep, my brother had a six-month-old son I'd never heard about. Apparently there was a drunken date, a paternity test, and I was a proud new/old aunt and no one in my family thought I was important enough to know.

Fast forward to March 2007. Since Anna became pregnant, she's been staying at home. She only lives five minutes away from me, so she stops in every now and then. One day she mentioned something about Jim going to court because Cade bit Aiden, and Aiden's mom was pressing charges.

"Who's Aiden?"I asked.

"Jim's other son," Anna informed me.

What!?! Another one?

It gets worse!

Anna explained to me that Aiden is three years old! THREE YEARS OLD! Cade is also THREE YEARS OLD. Something is very wrong with the whole scenario. Could it be that Cade and Aiden are only three months apart in age? Or could it be that Cade's mom and Aiden's mom were BEST FRIENDS when these children were conceived???

Then Anna told me that there's a little girl out in the world somewhere who might be Jim's daughter.

My brother is sick! See why I say 29-ish?




Moving on to the 90's

I can't remember much of the 90's since I started drinking and getting high in the 90's but I'll give you what I remember and let you guys fill in the rest

  • Snapper Wrappers
  • Plaid
  • Taz
  • Girls wearing boxers
  • Mens work boots turning into high heal girl shoes
  • Pointy black lace up boots
  • Pacifier necklaces
  • Friendship necklaces
  • Hemp bracelets
  • Nirvana
  • Black lipstick
  • Tye Die (again)
  • Mushroom necklaces
  • Dyed hair (for example mine was bright orange)
  • Color coordinated bands on your braces (for instance I cheered for the mustangs and our colors were red and white so my top braces where red banded and my bottoms where white...its okay you can say it I was awesome)
  • Mario One
  • Sonic the Hedge Hog
  • Mopeds
  • Skateboards
  • Girls in their dads striped knee socks
  • Painting with Bob Ross (this might even go back to the 80's)
  • Spaghettios!
  • Sneak a tokes
Okay this is draining my brain. Feel free to add stuff I missed out on.

Giggle awards

This months giggle award I found myself. Karlas post yesterday by far is the funniest shit (pun totally intended) that I've read all week. OMG Karla thank you so much for this post!

I bring you Karlas Rolling with the punches

Rolling with the punches

Samson rolled in shit yesterday. IN SHIT! Like, um, HIS SHIT!

He was literally covered in his nastiness. Oh and do I even need to mention how bad he smelled?

Any neighbour that caught the circus act of me trying to wash the mucking futt outside must think I am a stark mad raving lunatic because the dog just would not cooperate and thought being all covered in his squalor was funny. He liked being chased with the hose and a bottle of sunlight dish detergent and somewhere in between shoving cookies in his mouth and watching him run in figure eights around the yard and yelling at him to stay he shook shitty bubbles all over me.

Giving up on the idea of using the backyard as a giant natury bathtub, I decided to take him upstairs to the human tub for a proper scrub down. I’m not exactly sure why I thought I would be able to lift an 80lb dog because oh my fuck, I totally I sprained my uterus.

Is there something you can take for a sprained uterus when you’re breastfeeding?

I love the 80's

Totally theme stealing here, but this post made me laugh so hard I had to do one of my own. I was reading Life is Just So Daily and she posted her favorite things of the 80's and I got soooo excited I had to do my own. SO here you go. Things I love/miss from the 80's.

  • First of all Tiffany..sing with me "Runnin just as fast as we can now, trying to get away into the dark then you put your arms around me .......I think we're alone now doesn't seem to be anyone aroun hound"
  • Rainbow Bright...nuff said
  • Fraggle Rock...again nuff said
  • Strawberry Short Cake
  • Cabbage Patch (I even have the cabbage patch dog, a doll and a premie baby!)
  • Scrunch socks layered in reverse order, (ie on my left leg a purple sock with a teal over it, on the right leg a teal sock with a purple over it, and then both scrunched down to the top of my KEDS)
  • Spandex
  • Neon orange and green
  • Those little shirt clippy things member that you put one side of your shirt in and tightened it to make a shirt tale on your side
  • My feathered bangs
  • As mentioned by Lainey Garbage Pail Kids
  • Hungry hungry Hippos
  • Burger time on Atari
  • Lisa Frank stickers, binders and school supplies
  • Magnetic pencil cases
  • Pencils with those little feather puffy guys with the eyes and beaks on the end of them
  • Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
  • Scrunchies!
  • MTV's dance party
  • When MTV played music
  • Americas most wanted eeeeeeek I'm still afraid of the dark because of that shit.
  • Bonnie Bell
  • Caboodles!
  • Oregon Trail
  • Debbie Gibson
Edited to add
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles TURTLES IN A HALF SHELL TURTLE POWER
  • Ice Ice baby
  • LA Gear (thanks Lisa) with two color laces)
  • Duck Tales
  • Hypercolor
  • Tranformers
  • Heman
  • Gem
  • Walk-Man
  • Joey Lawrance Whoah
  • Saved by the Bell
Okay this is all I can come up with for now. Its your turn to tell me some of your favorite 80's things that I forgot!

Hey Karla...no break yet

After my shit ass night you would think it would get better right???? RIGHT? No I woke up to two giant piles of cat vomit! Yeah my preggo hormones, along with smell and gag reflex made me want to puke allllllll over the place. It took a good 25 minutes before I finally swallowed all of the vomit back down my throat.

I sit down to eat some celery and soy peanut butter and get ready to write this blog. That is when I turned my celery upside down on top of my shiny white Mac laptop! Have you ever tried scraping peanut butter out of computer keys?


On to the good news. I get to go to work today for an hour. My boss (parents) are so freaked out about me coming in and working that they ran right out last night and got me a new chair so I would be comfy for my one hour of work. After my hour I get to come home, eat some lunch and then count the minutes until we find out the sex of the baby! That part actually makes up for the crazy ass bitch that was pounding on my windows and doors last night!

Theme song