- I have this idea that everyone has to have their house robbed once...therefor I'm basically suspicious anytime I'm alone in my house. ANYTIME!
- Eggs. I mean what exactly are we eating. Is that not a little chicken? I mean when I got pregnant the first ultrasound showed a yolk sack. So when we eat eggs aren't we just eating the equivalent of a 5 week old baby?
- My Tivo. I'm sorry, but there is no tape, no dvd WHERE IN THE FUCK DOES IT RECORD TO??? Same with my damn answering machine. Where do they keep the messages.
- When you think of watching an old movie and suddenly it is on TV. How did they know?????
- Why is it some people are born with good metabolism and I got stuck with this shit? Seriously, most Asian women are tiny no matter what they eat. Why on earth can't science find a way to take that gene from them and implant it into me.
- How exactly did I just grow a little human in my body? This shit weirds me out!
- How do spiders know when your alone? Seriously it seems like spiders only come out when I'm alone.
- What in the hell is inside of area 51? Why why why can't we just know already?
- When the TV in my bedroom turns on at night.
- Why do I always have to pee when it is dark out?
- How does my son know to pick something up 30 seconds before I shout NO DON'T TOUCH THAT?
- How can my son always remember where he hid his milk but he can't remember not to jump on the fucking couch, throw his food and say shit?
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 8:37 AM
As some of you may have read I finally figured out how to shave down there before surgery. It looked all soft and baby smooth and when the nurse showed up to shave me she said I had done good enough and decided she didn't have to. All though this time she did have some new fangled electric looking thingy she still wasn't going to use shaving cream or anything. Anyway during the surgery they put some giant sticky cover over my whole stomach and legs so he knew exactly where to cut. When they peeled that off I think half of my skin went with it. However, from my not so stellar shaving techniques and the peeling off of the sticky stuff I now have little white ingrown hair bumps. At first I flipped out thinking I developed a rash then I realized what it was and now I'm just mad. I'm extra mad because I still have a little belly so it still isn't the most accessible area. So now what do I do to fix this? How do I get rid of the bumpies (aside from poking them which provides hours of entertainment) and make sure they go away and everything else grows back in all pretty like?
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 5:48 AM