I just looooove his tiny jeans and shoes. I can't get enough of them. He looks like he's about to bust out in one of my hella cool dance moves.
I'm sitting here in my kitchen cooking up a tasty batch of soup for the week trying to watch the Food Network. No wait, scratch that, I'm watching just fine, I just can't hear a fucking thing. What's that you say Bobby, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Yet I go in my bedroom, the tv with the "real" Tivo and low and behold I can fucking hear what Bobby is saying. Now I'm sitting here trying to reset the slut DVR which is even more boring because I don't even get to watch the show and make up what they are saying. I imagine right now Bobby is saying, "you know even though I married that hot Law and Order blond, I really should have married that Shannon girl who I never met, shes kind of amazing." Sounds about right to me. So with no sound I'm left to sit here and stare at my soup pot. And you know, a watch pot never boils, so I'm not even getting any action in there.
Anyway I went to the store today. We have snow here in Reno. Did you know that snow makes people drive like asshole cocksucker motherfucking retards morons. No, really. They are all, hey look at me, I suddenly can't drive like a sane person. It also means that no one can park a car to save their ever loving lives. Seriously it's not that goddamn hard. Let's combine that with the holiday shopping and holy fuck me is parking a pain. I go to Target today to buy ONE item. One thing. I try to pull down an isle to park and this car is blocking the way. Suddenly this guy walks up to the car to meet the passenger and she gets out and they go merrily on their way. Asshole driver continues sitting there. So I decide to pull around him and discover he is waiting for some lady who can't reverse for shit, to pull out so he can have her super close spot. He sees me try and pull around and gets all kinds of threatened and starts inching closer so that I can't pull forward more and the lady can't back out more. Grrrrrr. Soooo I now have to reverse. I then pull into the next isle and low and behold there is a super close spot. In fact it is the spot right in front of the spot that asshole was waiting for. He finally pulls in and proceeds to give me evil eye because he assumed I was going to try and steal his spot. What I found even more annoying is that he was actually just dropping that girl off who was already in the store, and then he was going to wait in his fucking car. So all that shit and waiting and parking lot annoyance was just so the fucker could sit in his car. I don't even tell you how much I wanted to ram his car with my cart. Then I get out of the store and I try and back out and EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM thinks they have to walk behind me. Never mind I'm 2/3 of the way out of the parking spot, they want to just keep walking behind me. And don't even get me started on the fact that people park all crooked and retarded like because they pretend they can't find the lines due to the 1 inch of melted snow we have left.
I HATE THE SNOW!
And yes I know this is the part where Ginger goes, (please read in sarcastic mocking tone) "well Shannon you've lived here 26 years you should know it snows by now, and if you don't like it move, and it's not like you can do anything about it so maybe you should just shut up about it." Ya ya ya Ginger I know I know, and if I could only convince my parents to move somewhere with out slut bitch snow I would. And whatever I've lived here 26 years, thanks for reminding me how old I am.
I HATE SNOW! Only thing making the snow worth it right now is seeing my kids all bundled up in their super cute snow gear, as I take pictures of them from the safety of the INSIDE of my home! I'll be back now I have to go dig the fucking Tigger Christmas blowy uppy thing out of the fucking snow!
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 3:06 PM