You know I have to say I'm shocked at all of you. I really expected at least one person to question me having my tubes tied. I was totally stunned when no one tried to question me. Whoah. Anyway this time I know that I did the right thing. You know, when I had Brandon I would always walk around saying, "with our next kid..." or "next time", or "if we have a girl." This time however there is no next time. Not because I can't, but because I just know I'm done. You see as many times as I sat there saying I WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER CHILD, after Brandon, a part of me always knew I was lying. I saved all his clothes, I saved all his gear, because deep down inside I knew I was the biggest liar ever on this earth and my pants were so far on fire they might as well have just turned to ash. I knew I wanted just one more. I knew I really wanted that one more to be a boy. While I joked about pink and pony tails and dolls and frills, deep down inside I somehow knew I was going to have two little boys and be done. So I had my tubes tied and I'm happy. While I know I'll never sit there saying, wow I wish I had another, I know there are other things that will seem weird. I know it will be totally weird never thinking, OMG am I pregnant every time I throw up or have a weird symptom. It will be weird knowing Rob and I can free willy it all we want and nothing can ever happen. I honestly think that part of it will be a huge adjustment. Sort of like this last pregnancy was an adjustment. I was so prepared for an uphill battle that when I got pregnant like over night I didn't know what to do with myself. Thats how I think this will feel. I don't know what I will do with out having to think about condoms first, or birth control or the oops he was too drunk to pull out. I mean, really do you know how strange it will be to have no responsibility? Shit, this is going to be like high school all over again!
Saturday I was making some toast to go with my cream of wheat. I sat down and ate breakfast and later came back in the kitchen to clean up and make some lunch. I wondered who made toast. Then I realized I had made it but forgotten to eat it. Dummy.
This morning I was making coffee and then I went to make some hard boiled eggs. I went to pour my coffee and noticed the coffee pot was never turned on. I'm doing good. I went to grab my toast and realized I never pushed it down or plugged it in. Wow I'm on some kind of roll here huh?
On another note. Do you do anything sort of gross? I'm really into clean things. Clean stove, clean kitchen and twice washed dishes. However, every morning I grab the coffee pot dump out yesterdays coffee and then just do a little swish with water and start over. I don't know why I don't wash the pot with soap each time. Is this gross? Do you use soap every morning? Do you have something half gross you do every day?
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 7:10 AM