Just not ready to go to work

I want to watch Iron Chef and sleep some more. Did you know having two kids makes sleep non existent? Did you know that the new born isn't the one causing the lack of sleep? It is the 2 year old who likes to wake up at 4:45 AM. Did you know 4:45 means he slept in? I've been showering at night a lot. Which means I wake up with that, What the fuck is wrong with my hair look. My bangs are slicked back on the top of my head, my hair has waves that aren't the sexy kind and my part kind of bends funny. I'm feeling bloated and nothing fits. Brushing my teeth would take effort. Bending down to put on socks would be considered my exercise for the day. Sigh. Do you ever feel like this?

I feel like a Shel Silverstein poem, tell me, how do you feel today?

by Shel Silverstein

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"


Not So Perfect said...

You look beautiful.

I say call into work "tired" for the day.

I feel like this most days. Ella sleeps very similiar to Brandon. She was waking up at 2:45 am everyday. I/she cut out naps and now she wakes up between 4-6 am. I can live with that, before I was a walking zombie, well maybe I still am.

Christy said...

Yes, I knew that having two kids makes sleep non-existent. Except my situation is completely backwards from yours. Porgie sleeps from 7pm to 7am, but Izzy goes to bed at 10pm and then wakes at 11 and 12 and 2 and 3 and 5 and then he is up for the day at 6am. Damn children.

Jeninacide said...

Dude. I feel ya. Cole has kept us up for the last 3 nights in a row. ALL NIGHT. I tried showering WITH him yesterday to get us both clean in a jiffy- BAD FOOKING IDEA. It was HELL. HELL WITH A SQUIRMY SLIPPERY BABY. Needless to say both of our heads were still greasy afterwards.


Ginger said...

Ha! That is exactly how I feel today, especially considering I haven't done anything more than move from my bed to my couch to my kitchen and back to my couch for the past 3 days, and now they expect me to be a functioning employee...I think not!

Rachel said...

I LOVE SHEL! Having just one makes sleep nonexistent let alone 2. Max is not a great sleeper and so I have not slept thru the night for over 14 months. Did you go to work?

Marni Tiani Self said...

I so used to love that poem!

Heidi said...

I love that poem. I haven't heard it for years. Thanks for the laugh

Cheatwoods said...

wow, you just recited my life, except Josiah sleps more than Brandon! However, I do still get up al ot for some reason or another!

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