4.16.2008

The story of the apple

As promised you guys get the good the bad and the ugly about my relationship. However I need to post this disclaimer, JUST BECAUSE ROB AND I HAVE A FIGHT IT DOESN'T MEAN OUR MARRIAGE IS IN TROUBLE, THAT WE ARE EVEN STILL MAD BY THE TIME I POST THIS, OR THAT WE HAVE PROBLEMS. IT MEANS WE ARE A REAL NORMAL HEALTHY COUPLE WHO FIGHTS. PLEASE DO NOT APPROACH ME ASKING IF I'M OKAY OR IF WE ARE BREAKING UP, OR OFFER MY SUPPORT AS IF I'M CRUSHED, IT IS JUST A FIGHT.

This weekend Rob and I went to California. And as always we got into a few spats here and there. I think the fights were both our faults. Mine for not paying attention to how I approached him, and him for responding meanly. When we got back to Reno softball started for him. I enjoy cooking for him, and on nights he has softball I like to have dinner ready to go so he can eat in time to make it to the game. I had a shit ton to do on Monday so I asked if he could run to the store and I would do the rest of the stuff. I made him a list:
Gala Apples
tomatoes
lunch meat
Pancakes
Real maple syrup
and a few other things

He returned with everything on this list, however neither the apples or tomatoes were organic. I was mad. Here is his defense, I did not write the word organic next to the apples, as I had in other weeks. Here are my defenses:

  1. Anyone who reads my blog (he does) knows how stuck up I am about only buying organic when possible.
  2. The last three times he went to the store I told him to get organic apples, why would I suddenly change it
  3. Every time I eat my apple I message him telling him how much I love my apples..often mentioning I love them because they are organic
  4. Last week we went to the store together. I asked him to grab the apples. He came back and said they didn't have the organic gala apples. Rather then buy non organic, I went back to the organic section and picked out two other kinds of apples to try because I hate non organic apples.
So. Those are my main points. But the actual reason I got upset is this. Had he sent me to the store and said he wanted ramen I would have known that he only eats one brand and one flavor. How does this man not know I only eat organic apples? Does he not remember my tirade about how much pesticides are stored in the seeds of an apple. Does he not remember me freaking out because my nanny ate one of MY ORGANIC APPLES? But here is what gets me the most. Had he been at the store shopping for steak for him he would have stood there and looked at
every steak, looked at the color, looked at how much fat was in them and so on. He also would have probably gone and bought the USDA choice steak as opposed to buying the Smiths off brand of steak. He would have done that because it was for HIM. But since he won't eat any of the apples then he didn't care. That is where I got bothered (among other things that were going on, ie, not helping unpack groceries, and cussing at me). I was bothered that since it wasn't for him, it really wasn't important. I'm also really bothered that I've been with him this long and he doesn't know something so simple. There are a lot of people in my life who don't know simple things about me, and it bothers the fuck out of me, but I honestly never expected him to not know something so small. The final reason I was bothered is that he reacted as if it was just a stupid fucking apple.


Here on the left is the stupid fucking organic apple, here on the right is the non organic. In the dark there isn't much different, clearly the non organic is smaller. Lets look at it in the light. The first hugest thing I notice the non organic is covered in all that nasty waxy shit. This greatly effects the flavor of my apple. Next the color. The lighter the gala apple the better tasting. Clearly the non organic apple wasn't grown in as good of light or environment. The non organic was hard, and tasted like celery. It was not juicy and tasted of wax.
I know some of you are thinking, BUT IT IS JUST AN APPLE. I've been trying to lose weight since having Codi. If you are following along you would know I'm just 1 pound shy of losing 40 pounds and just 4 pounds shy of being able to buy new clothes. I have done this by being on a very strict diet. VERY STRICT. I mostly eat the same thing every day. One of the biggest parts of my day is my sliced apple with soy nut butter. It is my sweet treat of the day, and also gives me one serving of fruit and some protein. It is also the ONLY food I look forward to eating every day because I know just how good the apples I buy are. So, even though it's just an apple it makes a large impact on my day.

Each morning I pack Robs lunch. I make him a special sandwich for breakfast and I put as much love as possible in his sandwich because I know, that when he eats it, it will offer him 5 minutes of happiness and relief from his day at work. I buy him Clementine's for his lunch instead of plain oranges because I know they are sweeter and taste better. I also know they are seedless and that makes it easier for him to eat. Last week they were out of Clementine's so I read the label of every organic orange to find something comparable. I picked Navel oranges. They were sweet, had the fewest if any seeds and still sort of small. I put a lot of love and thought into those fucking oranges for him. And I do this with every damn thing I buy him. So, shouldn't I be allowed to expect the same from him. Shouldn't he want to put that much love and thought into the things he buys me?

It doesn't help that we were already arguing about other stuff, and we've both been super stressed about money, and I have zero time to go riding, or work out, but he gets time to play softball twice a week. When I suggested that I possibly make two nights to go to the gym, he replied, thats expensive. Then I said well what if I ride two nights a week and make dinner later. He said, "well what if I get hungry." I was like fuck you can't wait another hour to eat. His responses kind of seemed selfish to me.

I dunno, it's widely known that I've been in a funk and a fog and I can't get out of it, I'm guess then economy and everything else is starting to now take a toll on him, and two grumpy people, well, you've got to expect some fights.

But please rest assured, I still love him, I don't want to leave him, I don't want to move out, I don't consider this a HUGE fight. I'm just cranky over my apples, and to quote that one song, "I just want to be mad for a while". Also, please don't bash him on here. It is perfectly fine to tell me I'm being an asshole or whatever or to take my side or his. Please keep in mind that even though this is MY blog you don't always have to take MY side! Because in the end I am aware, that like a human I do over react, I do get mad over nothing, and that it is just an apple.

13 comments:

Jeninacide said...

Erick and I used to have fights like this because he would go to the store and buy wine for himself but wouldn't buy champagne for me (our drinks of choice). I would get SO MAD because I thought of him every single time I went to the store and ALWAYS got him what he wanted even if he didn't ask me to or remind me- and the COUPLE of times that he went to the store he FORGOT MY DRINKS that were ON THE LIST. I got soo pissed and told him "I NEVER FORGET YOUR STUFF! I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU!" and he said, "I'm sorry. You're right." and he has never forgotten my stuff ever again. The End.

Someone Being Me said...

I felt the same way when I had to run to the store on Sunday morning and my husband asked me to pick him up orange juice, with pulp. I searched high and low and all the big cartons were pulp free so I bought two 16 oz orange juices so he could have pulp. I got home and he rejected it as not pulpy enough (without opening the juice) and stuck it in the fridge. It is still there.

Blogversary said...

I hear ya! On all accounts.

angie said...

I know that Dave and I have had very similar fights. And while yes it is just an apple, it is the concept behind the apple like you said. I know that when I go to the store I often see a Snickers bar or something else that Dave likes and think to myself that would be nice to take him a treat. Often, he does not do the same for me (while there have been times there have been very few) and it is annoying. I was guilty the other day when I was buying donuts for my kids and I did not bring him one. He was very annoyed with me and I said uh hello you don't like sweets. I was then informed that donuts are quite possibly his very favorite thing in the world. I was guilty because I apparently had no idea!

So I think it was more the idea behind the gesture than the apple. Plus like you said you are trying so hard and doing so well on your eating that you didn't want anything to hinder that. Maybe it felt like he wasn't supporting you when really he was probably just being a guy! I think putting lots of thought into things is a girl thing, guys just dont' do that that often :)

I am really glad though that you put on here that just because you have a spat doesn't mean you want to leave him. Many times when I am talking about an arguement with Dave people assume oh geez they are taking a turn for the worse. It's like we are the only people that have arguments? No I don't think so.

Love love love your last sentence about being human too :)

angie said...

geez I could have written you your own post with that comment sorry!

Heidi said...

(note to self - you like organic apples) Honey, I am in agreement with you on this one. I think it is basic laziness on guys parts. And forgive me when I say that this makes me feel better about my own relationship b/c we have arguments like these.

Christy said...

I could see John and I having this exact fight, except the roles would be reversed. I would be the one who bought the regular apples, and he would be pissed.

Anonymous said...

OK, so, it sounds like that you should've put organic in front. If he got everything on the list, how it was written then he should be ok.

So me and my buddy were talking about things the other day and the bottom line was, what most of you girls already know and have said a million times in your life, "he's just being a guy."

What gets me the most, and I said this to my friend the other day too, "From the beginning of time until far, far from now and I'm dead and my kids are dead and so on, guys will ALWAYS be guys. And I think it's kind of funny how girls will always be surprised by how the way we act. No matter how I raise my sons, they will be the same just because they are guys." I'm sorry women but that's just how we are. I'm saying it's an excuse, but that's just how we are.

Mom said...

I have a guy that works really hard he does not do my dishes he wont even think of doing the laundry for nothing and did I say he doesn’t cook either. But the one funny thing he likes to do is go to the store with me. Like Shannon I eat organic veggies and I love Wild Oats he knows what it means to me to get to go there and shop for my veggies and he hate it every time I ask him to take me there, but he is a sport and goes even thought he is hating it the whole time. He says there is just a bunch of Tree Huggers there, hello Kirk your married to a tree hugger. Now I have never given Kirk a list to go to the store for me ever, ever did I say ever. Now if I want an Organic apple I better go get it myself unless Home Depot started selling them.

Rob does the dishes, barbeques helps with the laundry, gets up with Brandon I know he mops your floor and helps you any way he can. You on the other hand have your hands full with two kids, dinner and not just any dinner you cook like a chef not just meat and potatoes. You are not a stay at home mom yet if you look at your home you would think you are. You come home from a long weekend and you are in your son’s room tearing his bed apart and cleaning it seems you never rest. You make lunches for him and sometime go as far as making enough for his friends. You both go out of your way it seems for each other.

18 years I’ve been married well next month 19 and he is my best friend don’t ask me, we live together we work together and play together we just like being around each other but yes we have fights we all do and yes honey we have fights over dumb things. Any one who says they never have fights are just lying to them selves.

Now Rob, Shannon always says mom you can’t bitch at Kirk cause he does not do the laundry, cook or do the dishes he has never done them so you cant get mad at him for not doing them now. So Rob since you have always gone to the store I guess next time you will get the fucking Organic Apples.

Love ya mom

Snappy said...

Your mom is a riot!! Me and P have these kind of fights too. I just chalk it up to him being a typical guy. They are so simple. It's like, if you don't write it down ALL.OF.IT., you can hang it up. I really think that's why they do the things they do. They're wired different. And we women? Are just too fucking neurotic sometimes. That's how we're wired, yo.

uumomma said...

its 'cuz
boys are stupid

Dyan said...

Thank god he didnt have to pick up tampons.... what the hell would he have picked up then? It's true though.... we know EVERYTHING they eat, but they have no idea what we eat? The Y chromosome, I tell ya... makes ya a little slow!!! :) Great story....

Ginger said...

I completely agree about the apples (that they taste better and that for as much love and effort you put into Rob's food, he should do the same...hear that Rob!)

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