6.30.2008

Manners, do they even still exist?

This weekend we (my mom, cousin and I) attended a baby shower. The girls mom threw the shower. When we arrived, the mom was not very nice. No greeting, no offering of drinks or snacks, she pretty much ignored us. I thought back to my shower, where the people hosting the party were friendly offering seats, drinks and anything else you wanted. I think it is safe to say we felt totally unwelcome in this house. The girl who is pregnant is carrying the child of my cousin so it's not as if we were strangers, in fact we were the only other family besides the boys mom to show up.

As time progressed we were told to go eat. Then we were rushed through some poorly planned games and still treated pretty poorly. At this point, when I say we, I mean EVERYONE AT THE SHOWER! At one point, the mother of the girl even called her into the kitchen to lecture her on something or other, and I felt like that was a total mood killer. The worst part though was when my mom sat down and the chair cracked. The girls mom came thundering over picked up the chair and angrily flipped the chair over declaring, "THAT CRACK WASN'T THERE BEFORE YOU SAT IN MY CHAIR"! I stopped and looked over and was just floored. She didn't ask if my mom was okay, she didn't say, I'm sorry I feel so bad, or oh man are you okay that was awful can I help you, no she yelled at my mom. Then she grabbed the chair stormed off and threw it in a hall. Five minutes later we saw her standing on another chair to do something for the party. She weighed at least 200 pounds and was standing on her chair no fucking wonder they cracked.

Later, as her daughter opened gifts and received a ton of diapers, plus tons of notes from family saying they would be supplying diapers any time all she had to do was call, plus a shit ton of stuff from me, not one thank you was given. Her mom never said wow thanks guys this was so thoughtful of you, or gosh she would have never gotten all of this if it wasn't for you.

Now would be a good time for me to say, the pregnant girl is 16. All of these people showed up for her, they bought her stuff, gave her stuff, whatever, and her mom never thanked them, or me. Her friends didn't come, it was mostly her moms friends, her boyfriends sister, and us, with 2 other friends. I would have thought, at the end she would have thanked people for helping her daughter who has nothing, who is totally unprepared and is basically being ignored by her family. The people who showed up, should have been thanked.

There were so many more moments where I just felt so unwelcomed at this poor girls shower. You could tell how uncomfortable she felt too, being in this situation. Even when I won the game there was no, good job, nothing. Instead, they threw a box of gifts at me and said here take a present and then move on.

The lady got upset with Brandon for walking up and down the stairs. He wasn't going in any rooms, or even stepping off the stairs, he was just going up then down up then down, and she got upset about it.

I remember both of my showers. I remember at the end my mom stopping every single person and just thanking them for being there for me, for buying me gifts that would help me out, for taking the time to be there for me and just thanking them for everything. Everyone felt welcome in my house.

In the end, we left feeling so bothered, feeling like our presence wasn't appreciated. I also left wondering what the fuck happened to manners.

15 comments:

Mom said...

Get it right Shannon I use to weight 206 and my ass was never that big she was a good 280. The leg in the chair was cracked in half and another leg was broke off at the top. It was clearly broken be for. I'm sure by some kid leaning back in it. I was just the person that set in the fucking chair when it fell to the ground.

Big bitch Big she was not nice at all and made us all fell like she was put out.

The topper was finding out that the last name of the kid will be hers not my nephews cause they are not married it is her chose. She is not even going to give him both names.

I'm sure when she gets older she will want his child support. I'm sure his money will be good enough for her. It used to be a baby was born and its last name was the dads to carry on the family name. He is the only boy in the family so it is up to him to have kids and carry on the Weakland name. The mother has a brother to carry on her family name. Funny it took two to make the baby but now its all her way he gets no say so. They even wanted him to give up his rights.

Megan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan said...

Shannon, I first want to say that I really enjoy reading your blog! It is great to relate to someone you don't even know!

Second, how RUDE and disrespectful.

I cannot believe the mother didn't even ask your Mom if she was hurt when she fell. That is awful. My mouth dropped open when I read that part.

A couple of months ago I attended a baby shower for my husbands step brother and wife. The host was nice but the step brother and wife were SO unappreciative for their gifts. They would barely take the gift out of the box before setting it down and going on to other presents....THEN we didn’t even get a “thank you”. It was so rude and disrespectful to all of their guests.

I am 22 weeks pregnant myself, and I feel extremely thankful for anything anybody does for me or gives me because they didn't have to do it in the first place. They do it because they care about me. Some people just don't get that. I guess they think they are "entitled" to the gifts they are given.

Manners do still exist, but obviously it has a lot to do with how you are raised and obviously the poor girl was not raised by the most gracious person.

Thanks for sharing!

Jayla'sMommy said...

Wow...
RUDE!
Sounds like the mom did not even want to throw the baby shower or whatever... But still, that's NO excuse for the way she acted.
And it's unbelievable that she bitched at your mom when the chair broke instead of asking if she was okay. Good gosh, some people...

moo said...

It's times like this when you have to stop and ask yourself ... "where is this coming from?"

Clearly, the girl's mom is upset that her daughter is pregnant ... angry that she has to have a baby shower at 16. Perhaps they were having a bad morning in general and just everything was getting to her.

I'm not making excuses for rude and disrespectful behavior ... I'm just saying that sometimes, you shouldn't take it personally or get too hurt by others' actions. Was it wrong for them to treat you and your mom like that? HELL YES. But there's obviously a river of tension running underneath everything and it has to be hard on them.

Misguided Mommy said...

Moo: I understand this was probably a hard situation for the mom. I'm sure she was mad, they have strong religious beliefs, I guess I just live with the thought, that whats done is done, the baby is coming there is only so much you can punish that kid and be angry about it. When the baby comes, that grandma will be happy no matter what, and then think of all the waisted negativity, not to mention how hard this has to be on the pregnant girl, she probably really needs support.

My mom made a good point though, they are just being assholes all around and not even giving the baby the fathers name, but you can bet your ass they will want his money to pay for it!

Christy said...

Holy moly cow! That woman sounds RUDE.

Steph said...

Damn, I am glad that I wasn't in that situation. That woman sounds awful. I can't believe she didn't even have the decency to ask if your mom was ok. Reading your mom's comment on the child's last name...pisses me off even more than when you told me this story yesterday. Some people are just so terrible.

Lainey-Paney said...

Oh my gosh!

Lainey-Paney said...

...and just think: her 16yo dtr has to live with her every day. You know that she feels like a complete disappointment, and a complete inconvenience for her mother!

...or, sadly, she may turn out just like her mother b/c she thinks it's socially acceptable & normal.

Lainey-Paney said...

...and just think: her 16yo dtr has to live with her every day. You know that she feels like a complete disappointment, and a complete inconvenience for her mother!

...or, sadly, she may turn out just like her mother b/c she thinks it's socially acceptable & normal.

Rachael said...

If that's what the shower was like, I feel bad for the guests, but I feel even worse for that girl and her baby living there.

Mrs. J said...

It seems that the mom is a very unhappy person. Eventhough her daughter got pregnant early, she shouldn't be rude especially to people/guests at the party who want to show their care and love by attending the party and showering them with gifts. If I ever encounter a person like that, I surely wouldn't be giving gifts next time!

Blogversary said...

Manners do exist, just not in where the cracked chairs reside. Sorry for such a bummer shower.

Mrs. F said...

Oy vey! Thankfully, I have never experienced anything like that before. How awkward that must have been...

Theme song