7.30.2008

Acecepting who I am

When I started this blog I had no idea what blogging really was. I was a new young mom and I had a lot of things to talk about. Questions, antidotes and humorous mommy things to discuss. Before I knew it, I woke up and found myself a "mommy blogger." For a long time I delighted in being a "mommy blogger." I was good at it, possibly because my child seems to be more monsterous then most of yours but also because I have no qualms about embarrassing myself. I enjoyed being a "mommy blogger (oh fuck it I'm already sick of using quotes) mostly because I loved reading comments that I wasn't alone. In real life face to face women often find it hard to admit their child isn't perfect. They find it hard to say,
"you know, I'm really having a bad day today. My son poured pink robitussin all over my $150.00 bed sheet then sopped it up with tissue which he stuck to the walls and dresser, then poured it all over my earplugs and carpet. While I was cleaning that up my son pulled all his coats off his wall, buried his brother, tipped over his chairs, threw his socks at the fan and filled a bucket with water and poured it over him and his brother. While I cleaned that he dumped cheetos all over the table then poured milk over them in an attempt to clean it up. After all that I was minding my own business brushing my teeth when I turned around to see my son opening up all my girl products and sticking them all over the walls, the toilet AND HIS BROTHER. He then opened a crest white strip I didnt even know I had and ate it."**

You never hear that in real life. You also don't hear about how some moms lose it. They yell, they get mad, they say angry things and put their kid in time out. But, you come here, to the blog world and you find clarity. You see your not alone and it's relaxing and refreshing and fucking relieving.

After a while I started reading negative things about mommy bloggers. Mommy blogger became a stigma. It was like a disease. I noticed people saying, "oh don't read them, they are just mommy bloggers." So I shied away. I backed down from the mommy gig and made it more about me. I stopped posting as often because with out my kids, I'm really nothing. I started fearing people would peg me for a mommy blogger and stop reading me. At the same time I noticed my comments winding down. My friends, my blogger buddies were moms. I suspect I became someone they could no longer relate to. I think I got caught up wanting to please asshole people out there who have something against being a mom and being a blogger. Those people who are to selfish to have kids and appreciate the humor in a good poop story. People who think they are above the rest of us because they write about bigger better more important things like sex drugs and rock n roll.

Shit, my version of sex is cramming it in when the baby sleeps, or figuring out where and how to do it while the baby sleeps in the center of my bed. My version of drugs is a good stiff one a day followed with a Vitamin C chaser. My version of Rock N Roll is viewed daily on my Yahoo messenger by my friends, just ask how often I get laughed at for blasting "the wheels on the bus at work."

So what. I'm a geek. I'm a mom. I have tissue, and wipes, and a dirty diaper in my purse.

I AM A MOM!!!!!! I'm sick of conforming to what people want me to be. I'm tired of being embarrassed of who I am. I'm a mom. My kids do stupid shit daily. I fuck up as a parent daily. I take really cute pictures of my boys. I AM A MOM!

I've been holding back great pictures of the boys, for fear that people would click away because I was deemed a mommy blog. I've held back hysterical stories about poop, and about daycare, and boogers, and POOP for fear that people would remove me from their blog roll because I was a lowly mommy blogger.

But no more. The photos are returning. The tales of how misguided I am are coming back. The stories about how much I struggle with being a good mom will return. The antics of all the poop and boogers and vomit shall come back with a vengeance.

I know my audience. I know my friends. I know who out there has my back. If you don't want to read me because I"m a mommy blogger THEN GO THE FUCK AWAY AND STOP READING.

I am a mommy blogger HEAR ME ROAR!

**This was my morning this morning

19 comments:

Randi said...

That story, well you can't make that stuff up! Who says being a mom is boring. That's blog material right there;)I read about it on Twitter and lost it.


Bring the photos, funny stories, you name it. You are one Mommy Blogger I always enjoy reading:)

angie said...

Here's the thing...it's your blog...blog about what ever in the hell you so wish! After my new found reading yesterday I have a feeling I know where this post has a potential to be directed and I say this...GOOD FOR YOU!!! YAY FOR BEING A MOMMY BLOGGER!!! I love reading all your stories about the boys...I think that people come here to blog about their lives and let's face it, those two adorable boys are a huge part of your life. So of course you are going to blog about them...just like I blog about getting married right now. Is my blog always going to be about getting married? No, it's what is going on in my life now. Is your blog always going to be about poop and boogers and wild boy antics? No, well the poop and boogers I can say no to, the wild antics I think we have years of blogging to come :)

GOOD FOR BEING YOU!!

Steph said...

I love it! Glad you are getting back to the mommy blogs. I enjoy reading them! Fuck everyone who has a problem with it!

Coffee Slut said...

Just be yourself. Write for YOU ...this is YOUR blog!
I think you're awesome, you crack me up!

Jayla'sMommy said...

Yay for mommy blogs!!!

Jennifer said...

YAY FOR MOMMY BLOGGERS!! Who cares what other people think? I don't have a lot of traffic on my blog, either, but I don't care. Honestly, I post for ME...as this is an electronic record (like a journal) for me that I can look back and read one day to see how I've evolved. I'm a new mom and I blogged about my pregnancy, now about being a new mom, etc. Those things are interesting to me. And you... I read you everyday. I laugh because you say things I'd NEVER say and I know what your kids do now mine are gonna do later. I read yours because I can relate to you. The ones that bitch and moan don't relate and they can go elsewhere and read other blogs. Anyway, I'm rambling..you know all this... blah blah blah.

:)

Someone Being Me said...

Amen girl!

Dianne said...

I agree with my sister (Coffee Slut). I read you at work and there have been times when I've almost had to go home to change because I've just about pissed my pants laughing.
Your Blog is the BEST!!!!! Just keep on being yourself.

hobbychanger said...

You always crack me up. It can be about you, your boys, or some idiot that you dealt with that day. I say write about whatever you want to write about and critics be damned!

Lindz said...

I was wondering what was going on over here. Totally guilty of not commenting but you don't either so there!

And I completely admit to laughing at your yahoo playlist - tho sometimes a good song does sneak in! :)

Bring back the babes!

Cristina Mathers said...

mommy bloggers rule! and your blog is one of the most honest, and real blogs out there. anyone who has a problem with that should just get over it.

Christy said...

YAY! I remember when you used to post lots of pictures of poop to go along with your hilarious poop stories. Good times! Glad you're mommy blog is back in business!

Laura said...

I found myself taking my blog back the other day too. Mommy blogger, or you without kids...you are interesting, you are funny and you are loved. Blog on.

jodifur said...

great post!

Not So Perfect said...

I have told you this before but your honesty has helped me to accept some things about myself as a mother, to not be afraid to admit that it isn't all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. Can't wait to hear some doozies. I haven't been the best commenter lately either life has been so hectic and I wanted to take a step back from blogging.

Rachael said...

WOO HOO! You go lady, bring it on - we are ready to read it!

Dyan said...

I love heraing your Mommy stories, and Non-Mommy stories..... you should dod what you what when you want.... and good for you that you are!

Multi-Tasking Mama said...

Your mommy blog was my second blog ever read and I have been happily lurking since. I love it. I think even your "non-mommy" blogs come across mommy. Once your a mom, your a mom.

*~Sarah Lynn~* said...

You are hysterical. hehe. I love reading your blog, even about the "mommy" stuff. Keep it coming!

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