Remember earlier I mentioned that my husband was being a turd this weekend. Well I wanted to tell you my favorite story from this weekend.
Sunday morning we all wake up. Rob eats breakfast and he heads of to take his morning dump. All the sudden Brandon starts jumping around that he has to go to the bathroom. So I tell him to go and make sure not to pee on the floor. He starts bouncing around and I ask what's wrong. He says daddy is in his bathroom. So I say okay go in daddies and be sure to keep it in the toilet. I put Codi down and go in after him. He pees and flushes and then I give him his undies and pants to put on. Then I go potty flush and we leave.
About 15 minutes later I ask Rob something and he being total short with me. I was like babe what's your problem. He said he was annoyed because I didn't go in the bathroom with Brandon.
Me: Uhh yeah I did
Rob: Did you wipe him
Me: There was nothing to wipe
Rob: Come on Shannon it smelled like shit in there, why don't you just say you didn't go in
Me: Because I did go in
Rob: Babe he was in there flushing the toilet a few times and it smells like poop, so if you didn't even know he pooped you couldn't have wiped him
Me: **Becoming VERY annoyed** I did go in there Rob and he went pee and he put on his undies and pants and flushed
Rob: Shannon it smells like shit in there
Me: OMFG I WENT POOP CAN YOU LEAVE IT ALONE ALREADY I POOPED AFTER HE PEED THATS WHY YOU HEARD THE TOILET FLUSH TWICES (wanting to crawl in a hole and die a long death because I DON'T ADMIT TO MY HUSBAND I POOP)
Rob: **Busts out laughing** All you had to do was say you shit
Me: NOOOOOOO Because then you would know I poop, and stop saying Shit
Rob: But you do poop
Me: You should have just trusted me and dropped it.
Rob: You should have just said you pooped
Me: Omg stop talking about how I pooped lets just drop it now.
Rob: **Still laughing** But you did poop
Me: STOOOOOOOPPPPP I DON'T POOP
Me: You sooooooo owe me an apology for thinking I didn't go in there and then not believing Me when I said I did
Rob: Okay, I'm sorry but you should just say you went in and shit
Me: Aggggggg shush
Rob: I could smell the shit
Me: I know but if I sprayed then you would have heard that and then you would have really known I was in there pooping so I didn't spray because I didn't think you would be in there sniffing the bathroom
Rob: Just laughing at me.
I am sooooo mortified. I can't believe I got caught pooping. This is only the second time in SIX YEARS that he has caught me and it is no less embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Shannon Mateo at 6:11 AM