1.26.2009

Observations and other nonsense

Brandons teacher commented on how he always smells so nice in the morning and how his teeth are always brushed and his clothes are always clean. Umm. Aren't all kids? Do people really take their kids to school in dirty clothes and unclean? Eww.

Weening my first child was easy. He was down to eating every six hours. Codi was eating every two hours needless to say after almost 48 hours of not nursing (I cheated once and nursed for about 4 minutes) my boobs fucking hurt. Fuck man this shit is bad. I'm like Dolly Parton over here. Good lord have mercy on my boobs. They are so big they are rising up and about to touch my chin. I'm filling out an E cup bra and it is about to bust at the seams.


Mine are bigger then this right now.

Codi is slowly testing some things out. Still nothing of quality but he is at least snacking and attempting to drink some milk from a cup (so what if it is strawberry flavor).

I feel like such a mom now. In my Iphone I have the following labels in my Ical: Personal, Work, Bills, KIDS. That's right I now have a label just for my children's appointments and reminders. I am 5 steps away from having one of those giant color coordinated calenders on my refrigerator with sticky notes and what not.

I am not 21 anymore. I can not stay out drinking until 3 am and expect to function the next day. Also....it hurts more when you puke after a night out like that.

Also...when you get that drunk please make someone keep you out of the bathroom so you don't tell anyone and everyone that "THIS is what happens to your boobs when you have kids." Ouch.

It is a bad idea to ask the pit boss of the casino you are partying at if she happens to have a breast pump you can borrow, while you gamble.

It is a worse idea to take someones cigarette from them and put it out on a table cloth.

It is an even worse idea to give someone as drunk as me a flaming dr pepper!


Can you see how this could be bad in the hands of ME!

I've moved on to full mom bag status. I now have a bag big enough to fit all of my stuff, my kids stuff, and even a kid if I wanted. In fact. I'm pretty sure I could put Codi in my new bag. (Note to self try that tonight with camera handy)

Codi is getting too smart. He just found my stash of donuts, grabbed the last one, took the wrapper and ran over and put it in the trash. What a tidy little boy. Well, tidy if you don't count the 300 toys scattered around my office right now.

Cute button up flannel shirts are a great way to hide a muffin top if you had one. Not saying I have one, but if I did I would probably wear a cute button up flannel shirt to work.


(the only known picture of April and I out the other night...I refuse to show you the other pictures of me and strangers because I don't look so hot)


And finally I present to you the text messages I sent to my cousin and Ginger.

To Ginger:
Wwreeeeee
Tacos qi
Fucmex up

To Lisa:
Weeeeeeeeee
Woowoo
plop
ntaox
snow
ya oeq
tacos
ta is
tacos
bens
beans
ok uejd
Ggvdnc
R
Vgennrnrns

SO! That just about sums up my night ehh? To answer your questions, no I never got the tacos I was so craving...I got a sandwich at home instead, that the next morning I discovered I had thrown all over the floor seconds before I crawled upstairs to puke.

My favorite part of the night was my husband pulling my hair back in a hair tie, rubbing my back, bringing me a blankie and informing me my boobs were leaking...and never once did he gag as I puked up sammich and pizza!

3 comments:

Livin' the dream said...

So I worked at a Preschool for years, and as hard as it is to believe, there were children that came in filthy. We're talking FILTHY. I remember two kids (brothers) that were about 1 and 3. Their mom brought them in each morning so dirty we had to bathe them in the sink to clean out all the dirty crevices. They'd have on previously worn socks, dirty diapers, shoes that stunk worse than a grown man's, unbrushed teeth, and the worst part was that every morning they'd come in with a bottle and a sippy cup full of PEPSI! It broke my heart. And it totally made me appreciate good moms whose kids smell good and are clean and taken care of.

Multi-tasking Mama said...

Now thats a picture of romance.

Not So Perfect said...

Ouch...poor boobies.

Glad you got out and had some fun, you deserve it.

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